I love my fellow PPC members!

Loke my bro! Rena ! I love you both!

You both make my day so happy!

Wahhaha, we study hard together and play hard together as well!

*

Saturday was fun.

As usual, after the rehearsal, went to town with loke.

Went Esplanade. He went crazy over Mariah's rendition of "Oh Holy Night"

While i sat by one corner reading magazines and The Bristish Times.

*

Met Rena later at Khatib to study.

Went Yishun park.

The toilets there SPEAK to you and has music playing while you do your businees.

Everything is also automated, flushing, sinks, EVERYTHING including the doors!

*

After that played the swing and tried to make eachother vomit

Spun eachother around using the merry go round.

All 3 of us ended up sprawled on the floor.

Half dead and on the verge of puking.

Played the swing and Loke can go horizontal man!

Learnt the skill from him. =)

*

After that we sat down and chatted for about an hour before Rena had to go home

=(

*

So ended a wonderful Saturday night.

So fun.

So interesting.

*

Relieves my lost childhood.

I want more of such days in my life.

=)

Rena is cute lah.

My mum says she thinks she pretty and told me something very interesting

But i won't divulge it here.

Lol.

*

Watched the new Channel U show

"Seventh Month" just now.

Now, tell me, is it a comedy?

OH!~!~! Its a horror film!?

You mean its actually a horror serial??

But why did i laugh? I mean, the red clown was so hilarious!

You didnt laugh? But its so darn funny!

I think this serial will bag the Best Comedy Show of the year award soon

=P

*

I just hope the rest of the episodes aren't as comical as this one was.

Overall, a great weekend.

Prelims next week.

DARN.

Bye people~!~!

PPCs and CHERLYN, you people ROCK MY WORLD!

"I'm all smiles"

*

Signing off in good spirits.

A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A

Hmm, havent been blogging lately.

Lots of things happened during the week.

Cannot rem most of them though.

Hmmm, ok.

Been hanging out with my fellow PPCs,

Rena and Loke.

Lol, we call ourselves the Power Puff Councillors,

hence PPC.

I'm Blossom, Loke "Buttercup and Rena "Bubbles."

*

I realise how many friends i've neglected during yhe entire time i was attached.

Now that i'm signle, i'm able to make more friends,

w/o fear or worry of an obligaton to fullfill.

*

Today's chem prelim pract was fine.

Didnt managed to finish in time.

Friggin FA 6, took so long for me to identify.

Dang.

Planning was so standard, so simple! I knew how to do it.

But could only complete it haldfway thru.

In vain.

*

Went to Toa Payoh Park after Tcher's Day rehearsal.

Crapped and chatted with Firmin, Maryann and Loke.

Had a great time singing hymns and learning more abt Catholicism.

*

Been feeling rather empty nowadays.

But it will pass, like how it has.

2 months and 1 day of being a singleton.

Bittersweet i guess.

But well, life has to go on yea?

The more you whine about it, in the beginning people will feel sorry for you.

Sympathise with you

Console you.

But if you drag it on, extend it far beyond a reasonable duration.

It becomes a nuisance.

A liability to the friendship.

Life has to and MUST go on,

even if it means a walk down a path coated with glass shards.

*

I still do think of her, in fact i dreamnt of her last night.

But as of now, it is all a memory.

Wonderful memories of a love we once shared,

and enjoyed together.

*

Been listening to Eva Cassidy, she is one of the few singers i dare say,

Sings with her heart and has deep passion for the songs she sings.

Too bad she died from Melanoma in 1996.

I love her, simply do.

She makes painful, lonely nights bearable for me.

=)

*

Been surfing blogs of her friends. Allows me to know the happenings in her life,

even if it means in a vicarious way.

But increasingly, i feel adamant to stop it.

I only end up feeling upset and hurt.

I must think positive and carry on with life.

Everyone must, thats how the world works.

People move on despite their difficulties.

*

I made many wrong decisions after the break up,

decisions that affected my attitudes, my friendships etc.

Some were good, some were plain dumb and stupid.

Now that i'm more or less out of the "rebound" season.

I feel more confident making friends.

Especially female friends. PLATONIC female friends

=)

*

I wonder how will my life be like after i enter NS.

What will happen to my friends, what will happen to her,

will she be able to cope with life?

Will i be able to fulfill my dreams of becoming a good officer?

Only time will tell.

*

So coincidental, met Marcus and Bo Wen from Camp Sapphire 2003.

We were like old bunk mates, chatting abt our Camp Sapphire memories.

How time flies, so fast and it has nearly been a year.

It was held during the Nov holidays, and now its August already.

But we chatted as if, the camp just ended like a month ago.

Nice reliving such memories.

I wonder if next time, army will be like that.

Meeting up with old BMT bunk mates and just chatting the night away.

*

Rena has been feeling down lately, and i can understand her position.

Cause i put WQ thru the same ordeal.

Interacting with Rena made me think alot about having relationships.

Especially at such an age.

She also made me realise, how important it is to have one's freedom in a rs.

Cause, if a person loves you, no matter what happens,

she/he will never leave you.

Having a Rs is like holding sand.

Hold it gently and it stays in your hand, secure and undisturbed.

But once you grip it too tightly, it starts to slip away.

And after awhile, all thats left are red, sore indentations made by the sand grains

that have been gripped too tightly against your palm.

*

This is a particularly long entry. Sorry abt that.

*

My academic life is getting back on track, i feel more confident in school

able to absorb things better as well.

Glad =)

Sigh, sometimes, miss the feeling of being able to hug someone.

Make the person feel loved, secure and worry-free.

But looking at the current situation with the impending As and

NS,

It will take at least 2-3 yrs before i can experience it all over again.

The magic of falling in love

and being loved in return.

But we must always remain prudent about RS.

Nice to have, but the pain of letting go, is just too...

painful, unbearable.

Killing.

*

Took this off the bible.

Corinthians 13 : 1-8


If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a

noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.


If I have {the gift of} prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith,

so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And if I give all my possessions to feed {the poor,} and if I surrender my body to be burned,

but do not have love, it profits me nothing.


Love is patient, love is kind {and} is not jealous; love does not brag {and} is not arrogant,

account a wrong {suffered,} does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


Love never fails; but if {there are gifts of} prophecy, they will be done away; if {there are}

tongues, they will cease; if {there is} knowledge, it will be done away.

1Cr 13 : 13

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

*

Take care people.

Bye~~

Signing off

A

L

A

N

*

P

H

U

A

Today was fun, met lokender and went to town.

Just walked and talked. Talked about alot of things as usual.

Life, school, council, love, girls, you name it, we did.

Yeap. Took a neo-print too. Damn farni.

*

When we left heeren, a signboard caught my eye.

It was everywhere.

It had this picture of a jovial boy. The moment i saw it, it reminded me of someone.



Councillors need no hint as to who i'm thinking of. =)

Wahaha.

*

Found this very nice song. =) Worth listening.

Artist: Bic Runga Lyrics
Song: Sway

Don't stray, don't ever go away

I should be much too smart for this

You know it gets the better of me

Sometimes, when you and I collide

I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time

Don't let me drown, let me down

I say it's all because of you

And here I go, losing my control

I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face

It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye

Let all the things you mean to me

Come tumbling out my mouth

Indeed it's time to tell you why

I say it's infinitely true


[CHORUS:]

Say you'll stay, don't come and go

Like you do

Sway my way, yeah I need to know

All about you


And there's no cure, and no way to be sure

Why everything's turned inside out

Instilling so much doubt

It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired

My head is battling with my heart

My logic has been torn apart

And now it all turns sour

Come sweeten every afternoon


[CHORUS TWICE]

It's all because of you

It's all because of you


Now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon

It's time to tell you why, I say it's infinitely true


[CHORUS TWICE]


It's all because of you

It's all because of you

It's all because of you

*

Blogging time yet again.

Today not so bad lah, feeling kinda happy.

Happy not because i'm gonna do badly for my maths mock.

But just well.... happy. =)

*

Maths mock today was rathering interesting,

some questions i could do with ease, others, i had to sturggle.

Vectors as usual, was a dead ball.

Quite surprised that Differential Eqs didn't come out.

I could do most of the calculus and managed to breeze through the AP/GP question.

Hard to say for Trigo though, i forgot most of my identities!

Arrgh.

*

Just had a nice shower, shiok. Woots.

may go swimming with Loke later to get my body back in tone.

I have to say this. I need to.


but.....








I WANT TO WATCH THE NOTEBOOK~!~!~!~!~!

its gonna end its run already =(, but all the slots aren't that favourable.

*sobZ*

Sigh.

*

Was reading Romeo and Juliet just now, unabridged.

Still my favourite line from the text.

Wonderful. =)

Act1, scene 5

R: "if i profane, with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this, my lips, two

pilgrims ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a gentle Kiss."

J: "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much. Which mannerly devotion shows in this?

For saints have hands that pilgrims's hands do touch. And palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss."

R: "Have not Saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

J: "Ay pilgrim lips they must use in prayer."

R: "O then dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to

despair."

J: "Saints do not move, through grant for prayer's sake."

R: "Then move not, while my prayer's effect i take. Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged!"

J: "Then have my lips the sin they have took."

R: "Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."


Woots. Nice.

I'm gonna memorise the entire text.

Ciaoz peepsies




A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A



Signing off.

Just came back from studying with Rena and Loke at IJ Punggol.

Cool

Rena is such a nice girl. =) Too bad shes taken

LOL.

the key word here is PLATONIC.

Go figure =)

*

Found an absolutely cool image hosting website.

Unlike my others, no irritating little bar at the bottom of your pic.

www.image4free.com =)

Go check it out.

All my pics are hosted there.

*

Uploaded more of my older ones.

Enjoy~

*



taken at Changi Airport MRT.


Kinda puts you in a contemplative mood


Ora Et Labora! Though i may not be from SJI, but i do have SJI blood flowing in me.


All time favourite, taken at ECP. Father with child on bike =)
*

Council related pics!~!~!

Some courtesy of Philene's pic gallery. Thanks flea!


My council badge. This is my working badge, i.e badge i wear to school.


Another version, except that this is for display purposes. =)


Council #4 uniform. The jersey =)


My name and number.


Taken after Investiture 2003


At St. Iggy's Church after Investiture 2004


Appreciation day 2004


Wee~~~

*

Me trying to act poser =P







See yah peeps ard.

6.5 hrs b4 maths mock. Sigh~~

Someone help me.

My heart is aching again.


Help.







Anyone.

I want to watch Notebook!!!!!!!!! Before it ends it's run.

Arrgh

On a happier note.

Got Silver for NAPFA, like finally.

Gold actually...but the tooopid 2.4 lah...

but still not bad already, shaved 1 min 10 secs off my previous timing.

*

I want to watch The Notebook~~~~ Arrgh


Bye~!

I'm gonna make a pledge.

A pledge to remain single till i'm able to provide fully for the person i love.

I will not risk my future for emotions.

Love completes the picture only after you have drawn it. It does not draw it for you.

I do not want to feel any heartbreak while i'm in a jungle in Brunei or Tekong,

With my rifle in sling and mind on the duty,

I do not want to be distracted by any thoughts except for my task at hand.

I am going to ace my exams, i will get into OCS.

Get millitary scholarships like my brother and make it big overseas.

I will be a good officer, a good soldier, a good citizen.

And a good boyfriend/father if i have the chance to.

*

You may think this is too far-fetched, too unlikely,

but if my brother could do it, so can i.

My heart tells me to push on, but increasingly, my mind is admonishing me to let go.

I am not as frail as i think myself to be. I'm strong, i'm capable.

I can pull myself out of this trench i've dug for myself.

But even so, this does not mean that i have turned into a cold block of stone.

I still desire to be able to provide someone with love, care and concern.

But pragmatism and rationality takes precedence over my heart.

Its cruel for me to do this to myself and i know that,

but it will be even more cruel if if i have to subject myself to emotional turmoil again.

*

On a lighter note, had dad's oily fried bee hoon.

Erbs, stomach feels even more queer now.

Ok, gotta rush off to do my Bio essays, if not Mr. Goh is gonna kill me tomorrow.





Ciaoz guys.


A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A



Signing off

ARRRRGH

I hate being alone at home, with no one but myself.

makes me feel lonely.

End up thinking of things i wish not to think about.

ARRRGH

Slept for most parts of the day today.

Now very much awake and alive.

Had instant laksa just now

Stomach feels queer now.

I feel so lonely at home.

No sound but that of my breathing.

No movement but that of my fingers.

No life but that of mine.

Arrgh.

Stomach feels weird, must be that Dodo laksa.

*

Wanted to go down Esplanade to watch the Fireworks display, but no one to go with.

Lots of work to do also.

Feel like watching Notebook, but again,

No one to watch with.

sigh.

*

My life has become a drag lah..no more council,

no more dear. I feel so empty.

So, void of everything i use to have.






Help, save me, someone....


Anyone.

Time for an update

again.

nothing much happened today, save for my thrird trip down to pastamania.

Tried the creamy chicken, first time eating a crem based pasta at PM.

Not bad, but still prefer my tomato based.

14th Aug, supposed 30th month 1 day.

BAH.

Went to Changi Airport with Loke today, had topless 5 (ice-cream) at swensen's

for $1.39 plus fries

Shiok lah.

Talked abt alot of things, knew him beta after today.

Talked abt love, life, school, council, eachother etc.

Then father called.

Yuko died. Yeap, one of my beloved hammies died today.

Sad.

Just buried it.


Watched Village yesterday with Kelvin, Halim, Des, Charissa and myself, not bad

But sat at the front row.

I left the cinema with my head tilted 45 degress off my neck.

my eyelids plastered to the top of my eye lids too.


Had bio pract today, not bad save for the liver slide

Crappy liver slide.

Been feeling rather sian the past few days, so many things on my mind.

No one to say it out to.

<sub>Arrgh, i know i shouldn't be so bastardly lah, thats why i'm restraining myself.

I do not want him to hate me or what, and i know i have no right to barge in liek that.

I do not want to be a bastard.

I do not want history to repeat itself.

But i do not want to feel lonely.

=(</sub>

Been playiong yahoo games....

with strangers, yeap. Literati is my forte it seems.

I suck at others.

Yeap.


Just realised, almost half of my cousins, are either married, or getting married.

Wonder when will be mine.

HAH. Dream on.

I will like to buy my own car by the time i reach 20. That will be nice.

Should i call or should i not?

But that will be so erm, mean of me?


Sigh. Will be performing for Teacher's day concert.

Training, monday 2-5.

Hopefully will turn out to be fruitful.

=)

_{Guess i should just give up and let go.}

Yeap. Prudence, at the end of the day, must prevail.

Prudent.

Pragmatic.

Rational.

Alan





Wanna watch a movie with me? But no front row seats for me again.

Ouch


Bye.

A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A

Criag David - World filled with love

Saw some pictures in the paper,
of a girl I'd met the day before.
I couldn't believe that hours later,
I had reporters knockin at my door,
But I used to dream about,
the life I'm living now and,
I didn't think I'd miss those things from the past,
and I'm not afraid of leaving,
or letting go of what I had,
cause I realize that now there's no turning back.

(Chorus)
Cause I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,
so when tear drops fall from me like rain from above,
I can brush my troubles away,
know that deep down inside,
I've got sun shinin in my life.

(Verse)
I used to think I could get better,
my girlfriends always used to get me wrong.
Some just sent messages, love letters,
but those kinda feelings never lasted long.
Cause now the only love I find's within a castle made of sand,
and when the tide goes out it's swept away.
Though I got my peace of mind,
and time is firmly on my side,
so through the battles I can safely say...

(Chorus)
That I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,
so when tear drops fall from me like rain from above,
I can brush my troubles away,
know that deep down inside,
I've got sun shinin in my life.

(Music Break)

(Chorus)
Cause I mean I'm caught living in a world filled with love,
so when tear drops fall from me like rain from above,
I can brush my troubles away,
know that deep down inside,
I've got sun shinin in my life.
I'm caught living in a world filled with love,
so when tear drops fall from me like rain from above,
I can brush my troubles away,
know that deep down inside,
I've got sun shinin in my life.

I'm happy now. Yay. =) *smilez*

Some inspiration from Spidey 2 :

Thanks Jean and me dearest sista Cherlyn Phong!!!

"I believe there's a hero in all of us who keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams."

Been smiling a lil bit more

Dad bought a new DVD player......

Bro gonna go on a 3 week backpack tour around europe....

Italy....Germany....France, the likes.

Hope he comes back safely.

Thanks to my friends who helped cheer me up.

BTW do buy jay's new album, "Common Jasmine Orange"

The tracks are not bad, but some sound weird..if not misplaced....

The namesake track is good....

Yeap.

Thanks guys.


A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A

ciaoz.

a sad story...

"Why cant this work?" he pleaded. "It just won't, please don't stay, it'll only make it worse." she said beginning to cry. As he left her house he got into the car a sped away. He didn't know what went wrong, just that something did. He never believed anyone that told him it wouldn't last, they said it was a high school fling. But he felt something. 'Maybe she didn't think that we would make it over college' he thought. No matter what he thought the hurt was still there.

As he pulled into his driveway he wiped his tears away and got out of his car. Normally he would have driven around, but something made him wanna go home. As he walked up the stairs he looked into the window to see his mom laying on the ground. He rushed to her side and grabbed the telephone that had fallen out of her hand. Picking up his mom he put her inside his car and rushed her to the hospital.

He sat awaiting the doctor to come and tell him how his mother was. He saw the doctor approaching. He stood and looked at his face trying to see if there were any good signs. "Your mother will be just fine, she had a minor heart attack," the doctor said shaking his hand. With a smile the doctor turned to leave. The took his mom up to the floor where people had heart failures. He looked around to see many faces. As he walked in the hall he saw the same doctor consoling a lady telling her her daughter was dying.

Walking past the two he glanced at the mother. It was his now ex gf's mother. He stopped in his tracks and sat by the mother. "Mrs. Jaute, whats going on? Why are you here? Is she OK?" his mind raced with numerous possibilities. "She didn't want you to know," the lady burst into tears, "That's why she..." He stood and walked into the room where she lay. Her eyes were closed. He walked over to touch her hand. "Mom? What did he say?" she spoke keeping her eyes closed. "No, it's me," he said. Her eyes opened and tears came.

"I didnt want you to know I was dying. I knew my time was running out so I had to end it before you found out." "Listen to me," he said looking deep into her eyes, "No matter what is happening inside of you, I will always love you. And I will be with you till the end." Just then her mother came in.

After a few minutes he returned to his mother. He explained everything that happened. The mother began to weep. After a few minutes she told him she would be out in a matter of days. He smiled and turned to leave. Days went by and he would go to the hospital to see his mother and the girl.

One day while leaving he stopped the doctor. "I have two questions," he said. "I'll answer the best I can," said the doctor. "Ok, the girl in room 135, is there any way she will get better?" he asked with hope still. "I am sorry but no." "Ok," his voice shaking, "Can anything go wrong in room 139?" "Didn't your mother tell you?" the doctor asked. "Tell me what?" "We found out yesterday that it wasn't a heart attack, she has cancer in her heart and can go at anytime. I am so sorry," the doctor said patting the boys shoulder.

The boy went into room 135. No words were being spoken he knew today she would be gone. He held her hand and whispered, "No matter what I will always love you!" then the straight line came.

The room was filled with a peacefulness. He quietly left and went into his mother's room. Tears streamed down his face. Without looking up he said, "Mom, I love you, and I know everything." he held her hand kissed her cheek and she was gone.

Hooray to 2t33, we won the mini parade contest

Pity the council was too inapt to do anything

Sad

Sarong fell, to the amazement of many and embaressment of myself

fell thrice.

Cool.

The Gymers were cool, flipping and vaulting during the performance.

The council lunch....lets just hope it turns out fine and happy.

_{Searched for her face today in the crowds, finally saw her, hmm *smile*}

What am i doing?

Nevermind, i'll let it flow, won't go pushing it further than it already is

Don't want to look desperate (i'm not)

Or make people think its a rebound

BAH

Had fun today, carried the shcool flag during march past.

Ran in also with the school flag after the walk.

YAY

Lincoln looks to be settling in very well with the class.

Nice guy.

I wan tot enter the Air Force.

Ok, gotta go rush for council lunch, pray it'll turn out fine, don;t want it to turn into some sad gathering



In veritate Et Caritate!


A
L
A
N

*

P
H
U
A


Ciaoz