l
 |
My arms and hands are twitching.
Weird.
*
Oh wells, latest news, the China girl
Huang Na
has been found, hmm, as reported, a body
in a brown box has been found at Telok Blangah Hill
which is not very far from Pasir Panjang Cente
near my Pri Sch's old building.
*
Hmm, sad, barely 9 years old, her soul is taken so ruthlessly from her.
No one knows her last words,
except her assailiant,
nobody was there to comfort her and protect her
when she died.
No one was there to stop her from crying and tell her
that everything is alright.
*
The lesson?
Life is fragile
One moment you can be happily running around,
the next your lifeless body is shoved in a dark corner,
far from human contact.
*
I pray for her dearly departed soul, and may her Mum find solace in
all who tried in vain and cared enough to be concern.
*
Oh btw, my fingers have been frozen because my air-con is just too cold.
Lol, but i like it like this.
Gonna go swimming with Bro later then back to CA to
Chiong for the rest of the day.
Chiong Ah~~
*
"Fiona!" "Fiona!" Where art thou? Why have thou eluded my embrace thus far?
Is my heart not up to thine's measure of a man?
Is my embrace not warmeth suffice for thee's liking?
Show thou's face and this heart is thine's to fiddle.
For here is a male who forsaketh his all for his devotion
LOL
Something is definitely wrong with my brain
Alan gagged and reeled at
2:14 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Studying and staying awake for 24 plus hours
is weirdly confusing.
On one hand, your mind feels tired, but your body clamours for more action.
Yet on the other, your body does not feel that alive.
*
Breakfast becomes supper, yet you still think its breakfast.
Dinner becomes breakfast....yet you still think dinner is well...dinner
*
Watching people sleep before you and wake up in the morning
and give you weird You're Mad
stares is fun to see.
>_<
Mugger-campers at CA always draw weird stares from bewildered people.
Yes, we Do sleep, only after coming home do we really get proper shut eye.
*
But weirdly enough, i've been awake for 25 hours.
Yet, i still feel hungry for more papers.
My mind is tired, but my body admantly denies it.
*
Weird....
(-___-)"
Oh wells, Saturday Night Live is funny.
Darn funny.
Bleh.
"Fiona Xie" i need you, where are you.....?
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:20 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Hey heh!
I'm back.
Yes, after a-many-day hiatus.
I'm BACK!
hooray.
*
Had Chem A level Pract today,
It was fine, apart from some blunderful careless mistakes.
Other than that, it was fine.
But the titration was bad,
this is probably the first time in my entire Chem career,
that in a single experiment alone, i did the titration run
6-7 times! Yes, i Lost count.
IT was a double titration you see, so there were two end points
And it really does not help that my first end-point value kept fluctuating.
*
QA and Physical Chem was easy, pretty standard stuffs.
The Planning question was surprisingly familiar and no doubt, easy to do.
*
Went gymming with Reynn after that, didn';t do much today,
worked on triceps and chest....wanted to go for combat,
but it was too late. So going tomorrow.
*
Mood has been rather bitter-sweet lately, as in, confused
one moment i'm happy and totally carefree,
the next i'm suicidal and melancholic. haha.
Oh wells, this quote from The Champion really woke me up
"In life, we must live for ourselves, this way can we truly be free"
Not that i fully agree, but it doe smake sense lah.
Hehe, not to mention, The Champion is my favourite show as of now.
Nope, not because of Fiona Xie actually also because of her lah
or for the fact that even the calafaire actors are good looking.
But rather because, it has the kind of romance i like to have. Hehehehehe
Hahahahah.
Woo, The Champion rocks big time. =)
I cannot believe that i'm actually watching an Idol Drama....
though the story line is, i have to admit,
stupid, mindless and almost run-off-the-mill kinds.
But still, it is a good watch. hahaha
*
Wo, i'm gonan train myself and hopefull by the time i POP from the Army,
i will have Qi Wu Wu's body. Shiok man...haha. Wee~
*
Hmm gonna go CA now.
Take care everybody..
One day, i will find my FIONA XIE. Hehehehe
Wait for me~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm Coming~!~!~
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:23 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Broke down again today.
the stress of everything
the pain of it
is just too much to take
i just want to end it all
please....
i wish i can sleep and never wake up from it.
Alan gagged and reeled at
9:04 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Hmmm, sorry about the lack of updates
Been feeling rather Un-bloggish lately.
*
I am hesitant about blogging about Grad Day simply because
the memories of it are right here in my heart.
So if i am to blog about it, i risk opening up a sealed chamber,
lest it gets trivalised, i will not blog about it
for the time being.
*
i need time to collate my thoughts and pics as well right?
Hah
*
Something struck me today, in fact it has been a few days now.
*
I have finally removed her haunting presence in my life.
no longer do i feel upset or hesitant when she is online.
I feel normal.
I feel Alan, i feel alright.
Hmm, and i thought i might never be able to forget her.
To me now, she is just like a spent memory,
something like your secondary school or primary school memories
are to us.
Special, but it no longer affects us as much,
heck, we don't even think about it at all.
This is precisely how i feel now.
You can say its nonchalance, ignorance or simply,
A cannot be bothered attitude.
Whichever you choose, it holds true.
To a certain degree.
*
I do not deny that i still miss her,
but to me, she just a vague memory,
a remnant of a painful past, a blurred image that i'm erasing,
corner by corner.
*
I am not going to kid myself or paint a rosey picture of what has happened,
i'm not going to fake acceptance, and use happy words to mask my pain.
I'm SICK of those, they make me feel cheap and without any integrity
What you see now is what you get.
I'm sick of having to say
"I'm happy for you...blah blah blah......hope you have a fine day"
in a feigned happy tone
F**K
i don't even care about that anymore.
I want to be myself, i do not want to hide and pretend its ok,
it never was in the first place,
but as of now, its different,
i have accepted it and am feeling good for it.
*
Shucks, i need to stop, the more i think about it, the more angry i get.
Of how this whole period screwed up my life badly, made my grades suffer
compromised my work ethics and jeopardised my future.
*
Anyways, my A's unofficially starts tomorrow with
Bio Pract.
Been studying quite hard for it, hope it pays of.
*
To you, i hope you fail your exams and feel the kind of
shit you put me through.
I got F F F for mid yrs because of YOU
I am not going to show a happy face in front of you.
You will never receive anymore good luck msges or "wish you well"
kind of shit.
Never!
You never appreciated them and you never treasured those.
So why do i even fucking care.
You can cry all yuou want, i am
never going to lend you my shoulder to cry on anymore
You can feel scared and cold...freezing even,
but i am never going to give you a warm embrace as well, go to your "FRIENDS"!
You drove me to say this,
but
I wish that one day, you will find yourself
LONELY
FRIENDLESS
AND
WITH NO ONE TO LOVE YOU OR CHERISH YOU LIKE HOW I DID.
I hate you and i mean it you !@$#%*&#@$
*
'nuff said.
*
Other than that, it has been a swell day.
Gonna go Cali for combat tomorrow morning before my pract.
Alan gagged and reeled at
2:34 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Forgive me for posting another potentially philoshophical
post again.
*
Today,
I just do not feel the needed benefits to conform to ubiquitous
blogs everywhere, that spew nothing but mindless daily happenings.
Forgive me if you will
*
I've been doing considerable amounts of thinking lately,
thoughts, words, things that frquently circle in my head.
But primarily, i've been doing much contemplating on the term
Feelings
*
Feelings exists in many different manifestations,
you have feelings of hate, anger, forgiveness, solitude,
compassion, happiness, joy, sadness, loneliness but perhaps,
the most powerful fo it all is
love
*
Everybody seeks answers that neither they,
nor their friends can ever really answer
fundamenal questions like
"Why do i fall in love"
"Why is that that i can never get this feeling out of me?"
Questions, that even for me i still seek an answer.
Many a time, i find myself stuck in a situation whereby i cannot
elucidate or make clear my feelings,
Is it love? Is it an attraction? or Is it merely just a passing phase?
These are the questions that i have to tackle with when dealing with my emotions.
Often than not, i leave my self-discussion exactly where i began
Nowhere
*
Now, what seperates us humans from the norms of other creations is that
we Feel and by the gift of language, are able to express it in
many different ways and in many different styles.
But fundamentally, we humans often express our feelings
by even the most subtle nuances that cannot by expressed in words.
Truthfully, the best way to express a feeling, is not by words,
lest it gets jumbled up in falsehoods and blanketed by euphemisms.
*
Take for example, when we feel hurt,
can words ever replace the feeling of tears welling up in our eyes?
When we are glad to meet someone we've lost touch with,
can words ever express the kind of happiness we feel when
we hug them?
When we feel love, can any quantity of saccharine words,
poetic prose or emotional verses, ever
replicate the deep heart felt feelng of connecting with your partner
on a soul to soul level and basis?
I guess not.
*
Often we are tasked into believing that words we say, can often
so easily replicate true human emotions.
But to what extent is that true?
*
but really, it is the human body, the
PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES that we are entitled to,
that can express such emotions with the most veracity.
The significance of a handshake spells more than a word of
"Hi" much like how a goodbye hug, can definitely spell more emotions than
a normal "goodbye".
*
No doubt, words can touch out hearts,
it can make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside,
but one must be able to draw the line between emotions and thoughts.
Words can move us, make us angry, make us sad,
no doubt about that, it can bring out our emotions.
But words only do so by stimulating emotions in our minds.
It affects our trains of tought, suddenly, eveything comes to a halt,
and perhaps, if the words are strong enough, we'll
find ourselves focusing solely and exclusively on the connotations of the words,
the subtle nuances.
Hoping to find out the true meaning of the words.
Often we do, and that is when our emotions kick in.
Do you feel touched just because someone said that you're being missed?
What if the context of the card is sarcasm, will you then feel the same way
as you would if the card was written out of sincerity?
*
Very often, in one's dire moment, we yearn not for words of comfort,
or sympathy, for they are just what they are,
Words
But rather, we yearn for that essential human connection.
We want to feel and be felt, it calms the soul,
softens the nerves.
Like why, when we're afriad, we tend to seek cover in our friend's
embrace, or when we feel fear,
we yearn for a physical being that we can feel,
to provide us with the much needed comfort and assurance,
that indeed, we are not alone.
When we feel sad, we do not want words or comfort,
what we wish for is for someone to take us into his/her embrace
and comfort us not with words,
but with the heart.
Words we can hear, only if spoken, but the heart, nay,
it is always heard as long as we're close to it.
One can never tell the difference between a sincere sentence and a falsified one,
but one can never mistake a sincere heart from an evil one.
*
It is all part of human evolution, how we have evolved from
primeval beings that relied almost exclusively on touch and such
to convey emotions and desires.
to one whereby textual manipulations can so easily replicate
or attempt to replicate our emotions.
*
Feelings as such,should be expressed, if possible,
via tangible means as opposed to superficial substitutes,
that can often be intertwined with malicious falsehoods.
*
I guess by now, i'm literally typing to myself, but it is ok
i do not naively expect people to treat my blog as a definitve
text or a veritable work of thought per say.
This to me, is just another outlet for me to express my thoughts
and at the same time, explore how i can weave my thoughts, stretch them
and if possible, reinforce it.
*
Well, i guess this saying by confucius is true
"Learning without thought, is labour lost; thought without learning ie perilous."
We learn when we think, as much as we think while we learn.
*
Have a nice day everybody.
and yes, this blog, in light of my post, will be one big irony.
How hypocritical of me.
Bah
=)
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:08 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
this will most probably be my last post
using my school's computer
as an official student of CJC.
Sigh.
So fast, it only seemed like yesterday that i entered CJC.
Now it is time for me to leave this place that i'Ve called
home for the past 1 and a half years.
Its sad but it is nonetheless inevitable
that it should be this way.
*
It is just how life works, for every beginning
there must be an end.
Nothing lasts forever, at least, within our lifetime.
But for sure i know, within this period,
i did partake in fair share of ups and downs.
*
One must just accept things that come,
as what my friend Sara said,
which makes alot of sense.
"Life isn't unfair, it is only to those who cannot find their
way around thier problems.
Smart people will never find life unfair."
*
So, the trials and tribulations that we endure,
will be deemed unfair and out against us,
ONLY if we do not possess the fotitude and tenacity
to endure against it and find other routes around the problem.
*
In the famed words of Confucius,
"Percieving what is right, but doing it not,
argues the lack of courgae"
Words for us to ponder on.
*
As my JC life draws to an inevitable close,
a chapter in the scrapbook of my life comes to an end,
BUT it opens a new chapter.
"The end of a beginning, is after all, a new beginning.."
A chapter waiting to be filled with new acquired knowledge
and
experiences.
Clean pages for me to add in new pictures, write in new words.
Fit in new people.
*
Surprising how each chapter of my life often translates
in the many convolutions that life bends us into,
perhaps, like what is often quoted,
we will just have to bend our backs and accomodate.
*
Before i start sounding too philosophical and OTT (over the top)
i'll like to share with you a quote that i derived from
Bushido - The soul of Japan
a book that i've been reading, about the mannerisms
and ethics that Samurais derive from a code of conduct,
known as Bushi-do
which is literally The way of the warrior
*
"Tranquility is courage in repose."
*
Therefore, we must reamin tranquil in times of danger,
or hardships,
for we know that if we can maintain a level of headedness
and tranquility of the situations, we have attained intrinsic
courage.
Courage that enables us to tide over our problems.
*
Okay, time to run off for Bio tut!
See yah
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:14 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Avril Lavigne - My happy ending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh , oh oh, oh oh
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought that we could be
[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh,oh oh, oh oh, oh , oh
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
[Chorus]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
She was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
[Chorus]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, (in background Oh oh, oh oh)
So much for my happy ending,
*
Thanks Cherlyn. =)
Nice song.
*
Anyways, i received two friend requests
from people i do not know
on friendster today.
Hmmm, weird.
both females
*heehee*
Looks like my friendster pic
is doing wonders.
=P
*
Alan gagged and reeled at
11:50 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Been sneezing the whole afternoon.
Ah Choo.
*
Ok, my main purpose online is to
1) check if she is online
2) See if she is online
3) Ascertain if she is online
4) look and see if she is online
Yah, so, since she isn't (which she most probably won't be anyways,)
i'M OFF.
*
BUT i'll be kind, since you actually took the trouble
of travelling many many mouse clicks from a place
many many mouse clicks away.
I will not waste your internet money
It makes no difference to me, cause my comp
is perpetually online.
The reason? Ares and Imesh.
HAH.
*
The SG Idol Conspiracy Theory
I have a fishing suspicion that the whole
SG-Idol-why-is-that-guy-Jerry-Ong-still-around fracas is a
you guessed it
A SET UP
If Flo Lian can go around making wild bets and trade offs,
and if Jerry Ong (despite being so scorned)
can still make it back time and again and again
what does these events show?
The producers may want to JACK up the viewer ratings.
Make the show interesting, suspenseful
One word : Buaaaargh
I mean put it this way, what if the results are already pre-determined?
I mean, we may vote, but do we REALLY know
whether our votes are even being counted?
Its not as if it is a ballot whereby the vote counting is open
for all eyes to see.
Maybe our votes only serve one purpose
- to fund the program.
*
So my pt is, there may be a conspiracy involved. (-_-)"
but it still is a hypothesis.
*
But maybe Jerry just got his entire
Rev. Kong and CHC fanatics to vote for him
but the irony is, who does he thank ?
*Jesus*.
Oh my frggin crap.
(ò_ó)
Aww, cut that smile. If i were you I'll Shoot myself.
I really wonder how you survive day to day man.....shouldn't have quitted that job.
*
Maia Lee!
Bah, ok, so my decision to support her is
laregly due in part to being testosterone charged.
But hey, at least she sings decidely better than
*refer to pic above*
and looks better than
*refer, again to pic above*
But i kinda feel sorry for him actually, its not really his fault.
I mean, i bet his conscience must also be prickling him badly,
and i'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be in this anymore.
But his legions of fans just simply do not want to let him out,
they want the SI to be from their, Platinum shielded mega Church Complex
somewhere in JW, right smacked in the middle of a HDB heartland.
i will not name names *sniggers*
*kinda ironic and extravagant for a HDB estate*
Thus, they, along with their entire community of deep pockets,
vote in unison during evening Services and such.
BUT, thankfully, there is still....
Woo...heee =)
Ahah...........*drools*
If not, like what i said in the previous post,
I'll be REALLY angry.
But for the time being,
Lets just hope the "divine powers" will help Jerry ease his suffering.
BLEH
>_<
*
I got CONNED!
Ok, today i got friggin conned by two teen girls
who were selling these food coupons along Far East.
The approached us (Des and I) and asked us
"Do you know where Orchard Point is?"
So being the kind Councillors that we are, we gladly told them
But things became weird when they asked us
"Do you know where Suntect City is?"
and out came the coupons
Raved on about the place they were selling the coupons for.
And at lest, FORCED us to buy not ONE
but TWO coupons. Each for 5 bucks.
(ò_ó)
The only way to get them to s.t.h.u was to buy them and run away.
and so we did.
*
ANYWAYS, cause i did not want to waste my money,
Des, Aaron, Loke and myself went down to try out the place.
and to use the coupons as well.
Not bad lah. They sell Thai food.
Quite delicious actually.
- Tuk Tuk Thai Kitchen -
SO, If you happened to be like me, walking down far east
and and eventually getting conned out of $5 by two teen girls,
then,
do try the "Stir fried Basil minced pork with rice"
Its super nice, very spicy.
=)
My reccomendations.
*
Good reads for the week:
Written many years before 9/11
Written after the events of 9/11
Been reading these two books well over 2 times,
(actually only the first one)
and i'm already almost done with the second book.
These 2 books are a must read.
Why?
Here are some nuggets
1) It predicts a nuclear holocaust a.k.a Apocalypse a.k.a the End of Days
in 2006
2) It predicted many real world events like Sept 11, 2003, assasination of JFK
Ok, so be the sceptic that you want to be
but the moment you read it, you will hope
that it is just a book.
I really hope that it is just a book.
*purses lips*
*
But been reading many conspiracy theories that are debunking the entire
Bible Code
as being nothing more than "picking out the correct things to say"
AND
I actually enjoy reading those debunking studies.
=P
*
Anyways, Bio option Mock was rather do-able,
looks like my late night muggings paid off today =)
However though, i did get mixed up with the functions of some hormones,
namely, FSH and LH,
but quickly realised my mistake
and promptly changed it. =)
*
After Bio mock, we adjorned to the Lib Seminar room for bio extra lesson by
Great Teacher Heng (Mr. GTH aka. Mr. Goh)
and it dawned upon me, *Aura*
that,
I'm actually gonna miss the Lib Sem Room VERY VERy MUCH!
The memories of waitigng anxiously for GP to be over just so that i can
pop by her place after school,
and not to mention, sleeping with my eyes opened at the corner
during Mrs. Loke's GP lessons.
Which by the way,
i'm also gonna miss as well,
not because i usually sleep (i cannot help it) during her GP lessons,
but rather because i enjoy her discussions, ALOT
they're fun.
I'm gonna miss your GP lessons Mrs. Loke! Really i will!
Only one more week left, i'm gonna make sure i will not sleep.
=P
*
Well, what can i say, i sealed my fate yesterday by sending that letter.
Hope it helps her tounderstand how i feel about her
But then again, i'm already prepared for the worst.
Not expecting much.
Ciao people
Love you all loads.
esp maia lee
=P
Alan gagged and reeled at
5:54 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Whee, finally, i can upload my class photo.
i like my hair! its funky!!
This is the informal one.
I do not have the formal one,
simply because i snipped this off my class's blog.
2t33.blogspot.com
and i do not have a scanner
lots of thanks to Ru Ying
the mysterious girl
=P
Alan gagged and reeled at
11:48 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
I do not mean to be racist,
nor verbally angry.
But i just need to get this off my chest
*
These are the kind of !^@)%*@(%^@&! that should be BANISHED
from the Library especially, the Reference Section.
1) Stupid Mats and Minahs
The library is NOT for you to make out or have sex in (i'm serious)!
Not to mention, chattering away while pissing everyone off.
2) Ah Bengs and Ah Lians who, for the only purpose in the library
Is to make noise and laugh loudly, often accompanied with irritating hand gestures.
3) People who study in groups and make lots of noise chatting away.
and laughing for that matter.
4) Students who bring along their Bass Enhanced, stereo headphones
and blast the friggin techno music into their ears.
Frig it is SO loud everyone can hear!
5) Students in uniforms who make out in brightly litted corners of the library.
please, if you have no respect for yourself, at LEAST show some
for your school
6) Pseudo-muggers who take away all the good texts and leave them untouched
on the tables.
AHHHHH
7) People who vacate their seats for extended periods of time
(i'm talking about at least an hour).
8) Teenage girls and boys who, for some funny reason
Laughs at the referral computers as if it is some joke.
what is so funny about a computer that tells you where to find books?
*
I can go on and on...but honestly...these people should just disappear
Argh.
*
Like today, was studying, for some funny reason *again*,
the whole library was filled with Malays.
and Causeway point for that matter.
I know the Government constantly asks us to be racially tolerant.
and i do observe it stringently
But today's events really pushed the envelope for me.
No, it destroyed it.
*
The setting, in the reference section of WRL.
All was peaceful and everyone was busy with their own stuffs.
Came along, a big group of malays
(no racial attack is intended, if they were chinese, i will still be as critical.)
They basically filled up all the round stools (abt 4-5 per stool)
and chairs on the floors.
A group started talking, and soon, people were laughing.
Pissing everyone off.
After repeated "Shhhhs" from the irate readers,
they finally quietened down.
Out comes the blasted discmans.
Soon, Def Leoppard and loud techno music filled the air.
Techno crap.
I was pissed off, not just me, but the few people beside me as well.
when i saw the opportunity to change my seat far far away
I did not hesitate.
and i did not regret my decision.
Though i gave up my favourtie seat.
It beats having to study with those irritating chatters
URGH.
Piss offs.
These people.......
Spoils the mood for people to study....
(ò_ó)
GRRRRRRR
*
And why in God's name is Jerry Ong a.k.a "Thank you Jesus"
still in Sg Idol?
If i were him, i will not thank the Lord tonight.
Instead i will be asking him "WHY?! WHY!? WHY!?"
AND to add on, if i were JO, i will volunteer to drop out and allow
more deserving people, namely DAVID YEO to come back.
and if it so happens that i fail to drop out *again* (for some unknown reason),
i will shoot myself.
bah, i guess Religion IS a business in Singapore.
But at least Maia is still in,
if not i'll be REALLY angry.
Bad day today.
[ò_ó]
Rawr
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:23 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
In 3 years,
you will be 20,
while i will be 21.
In 3 years,
you will have finished poly.
and i will be in some overseas university furthering my studies.
In 3 years,
you may have found a new partner, loving and as caring as can be.
While i may sill be single, waiting for someone.
In 3 years,
You will most probably have forgotten me and the memories we once shared.
While i will still be reminicising the love we once had.
In 3 years,
We may no longer speak to one another
and may no longer remember we once loved for 28 months.
But in 3 years,
i will still love you,
maybe not love as in couple love.
But love as in deep care and concern.
But hopefully,
maybe.....just maybe....
in 3 years,
i will still love you like how i do now.
*
You may ignore me, you may refuse to acknowledge my presence
You may refuse to answer my calls.
or correspond with me on MSN.
You may decide to cut all links with me.
But it is ok,
i do not blame you at all.
Simply because
I love you too much.
Unbelievable? Unfathomable? Inconcievable?
I know
Alan gagged and reeled at
3:13 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
2 days MC....hmm...-shrugs-
Ok, was watching Sg Idol just now.
And i have to say this albeit me having a slight fever.
Maia Lee is HOT!!!!
Woots, she makes my heart shimmy, soul do the ai-karamba.
She shakes the maracas in me, does the rock and roll.
Whee...i voted for her, along with Daphne and Syl.
Was surfing the net for Maia...hee, and came across this website.
A blog of sort...very funny.
www.tvpoison.com
and got this of one of his posts
it is basically about how Poor Jerry should be given the boot
and reasons as to why is he still around
terrosing our eardrums.
Hahaha
******
I liked the letter written to this morning's Today editorial. One Billy Lee proudly claimed that he was one of the (many, many, many) insane idiots who voted for Jerry Ong. I love it when idiots write in just to smack their own foreheads.
"I voted for Jerry not only because he did pretty well but also because of his magnanimous character and joyful spirit.", he offered. Billy then went on to offer reasons for Beverly's (that she only got into the Final 12 because of the judges anyway, and wasn't the people's choice) and Jeassea's (essentially because she was a foreigner.) earlier-than-anticipated exits.
There was an article yesterday about Jeassee not being 'relevant' in the competition, and on how her choice of using a Hendrix relative to speak in her introduction was 'arrogant'. And of course, the theory that she, being the only non-Singaporean, just didn't have a natural fanbase (i.e. family and friends from schooling days, etc) and the appeal to heartlanders.
And today, this fruit loop's letter pretty much echoed the same sentiments.
Look, mate - all I have to say is that if the fluffy 20-second introduction before each performance has ANY weighting at all in influencing your decision to vote, please do the other voters all a favour and kill yourself.
I don't know which is worse - that 'normal' Singaporeans are being made to look like xenophobes voting along race (and religious) lines, or that these idiots who write about the Singapore Idol (semi)finals results are harping on the fact that a Hendrix relative was in Jeassee's intor clip in an apparent attempt to influence the voting public. But I digress...
Of course, Billy chose to reveal his true reason for spending X amount of dollars rooting for Jerry Ong at the end of the letter - "I voted for Jerry because I admire his bold stand for Jesus."
Jesus freak.
Alan : This part is a MUST READ!!!!
Given that religion is playing such a strong part in influencing votes, here's my analysis on what's going to happen this week in the Singapore idol Final 9 showdown:
Leandra will be turning up with an all-black Southern gospel choir as backing vocals. She will be singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" and collapse in a sweaty heap at the end of the song. One of the choir members will cover her with a cape and Leandra will suddenly recover to do an extended version of the chosen song. She thanks God.
Jerry will be appearing as Jesus of Nazareth (after the great betrayal). Naked, save for a piece of loin cloth, he will be performing that old Peter, Paul and Mary chestnut "Kumbaya" - while being crucified on a REAL wooden cross. The producers are still trying to determine how much bleeding would be 'OK' before Mediacorp gets slapped with another hefty fine by MDA. Jerry thanks Jesus. Again.
Christopher will appear as the Easter Bunny and attempt to sing the Sesame Street theme song. Mark David Chapman will appear out of nowhere and kill him with two shots to the chest. "Chrissypoo" will be declared the Singapore Idol winner posthumously.
Maia will ignore the theme for the night, and cover a Shakira song. She will get through the next round because of her bouncing titties. *bounce, bounce* Maia thanks Wonderbra. And Jesus.
Taufik will say the night prayers while clutching the Quran in his hands. He thanks the prophet Muhammed, as well as Allah, God Almighty.
David goes all out with the ancestral worship table - complete with the plates of roasted pork, chicken, and oranges, and burning incense - and the burning mounds of paper offerings to the gods. He chooses to sing Teochew opera - endearing him to those Singaporeans above the age of 80, but alienating himself from his traditional fanbase - the sane, working professional with a mortgage and a car loan. He thanks 'Toa Bek Kong', but gets booted out with only 2 votes.
Daphne drops out of the contest at the last minute, citing 'personal reasons'. But we all know the operation to enlarge her slitty eyes got botched up, and she had to hide behind a pair of enormous sunglasses for the next 2 months.
Olinda came on in a dress. Nobody notices her singing and flawless delivery, because everyone was too busy taking pictures of this momentous event. She thanks Billy Jean King.
Sylvester came on-stage dressed like Marilyn Manson, but decided to do a cover of an old BFF song "Satan Is My Master". I finally change my vote from David Yeo to Sylvester due to his (very marked) improvement in musical taste. He thanks Satan. Before the results could be announced the following night, several members of Singapore's only satanic cult bum-rushes the stage and stabs the New Cool Guy. They offer his still-beating heart to their Dark Master.
******
hahaha, kk gotta go eat medicine loh....
Alan gagged and reeled at
9:58 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
I'm tired...so very tired.
I'm sick today....
Slight fever with a very funny feeling in my trachea.....
I really wish you'll care...
Oh wells....
Guess not
Alan gagged and reeled at
5:57 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
I'm pissed, i'm super pissed.
I will not allow you all to trample over me.
I'm gonna do more than what needs to be done.
I'm gonna strive more than what is required
I will do more papers, i will spend more hours.
I will
I WILL.
Alan gagged and reeled at
2:05 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Backpack to Vietnam - Saigon
Ok, so here is the plan....
If my NS enlistement is in April (which i hope not).
I will work from January to Mid-March, and hopefully by then,
i will have saved enough money to buy me a ticket to Vietnam.
Why Vietnam you ask?
Because i'm fascinated by this country.
*
Been reading up alot about the Viet War,
Which simply dumbfounds me everytime
*
I went there in 2000 for a school CIP program
and have always wanted to go back there.
=)
That place, though a bit backward,
is rather tourist friendly,
not to mention possessing a very attractive conversion rate as well.
*
Sites that i will like to visit again are places like :
The Cuchi tunnels :
This complex underground labyrinth that the Vietcong
built during the French resistence,
which was subsequently used during the Viet war.
It is a very interesting place that i went to....
and i will like to go back there again.
The War Remanants Meuseum
This i didn't get to go because it wasn't in the itinery.
=)
Been surfing the net more about it.
A very interesting place to go.
Wait, it is a ~ Must ~ go.
Haha.
Mekong/Saigon River
Once at night, this place is tranformed into
a pseudo-Boat Quay..with all the floating pubs and extensive nightlife
It is one place i cannot miss. =)
Do not plan to travel up north to Hanoi though
because i'm not well acquainted with that place.
Moreover, i dun think my finances can support it.
Saigon will do just fine. =)
For the time being
*
Oh wells, plans are tentative, it really depends whether
firstly, my enlistment date is in april.
secondly, finance. I do not want to get stuck in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City)
Thirdly, whether do i have the guts to go or not.
Haha. But i guess that will be easy to settle.
Friends are free to join...=) so if you are interested,
you can always tell me.
*
Hopefully, i'll be able to go. =)
It will be one hell of an experience!
*
In the words of a very famous greeting during the Vietnam War
Goooooooood morning Viernam!
Alan gagged and reeled at
8:16 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
In the school library now.
Hmm, self study period
What the hell am i doing online
*
Bah, just came online to read up on some news.
=)
Read about the Singapore's MFA reaction to Taiwna's
dastardly and inflammatory remarks about Singapore.
About us being a "Little snot".
Why am i not surprised.
Sheesh,
over the years, how many different degratory names have we been called
Lets see,
Whipping Boy by Suharto
Little Red Dot by Habibie
War mongerer By Mahathir
Little Snot by Taiwan's MFA.
and many many many other names.
In which i'm in no capacity to recall.
Sheesh.
Where is the intelligence of such countries
and basic sense of congeniality and respect for courtesy.
Hah.
*
Oh wells.
Today feeling abit better, spirits are up
and i could concentrate during Bio.
Heee, stumped Mr. Goh with a Bio enquiry i had.
=P
Bah, but that doesn't make much of a difference to how i performed.
It still sucks.
*
Friendster is taking so long to load.
*
Gonna run down to WRL later after school.
Gotta complete quite a few chapters of maths by today.
And search for this enigmatic Bio book.
*
Heh, and i'm left with only $0.50 in my pockets
how to survive?
Alan gagged and reeled at
10:29 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Mum just told me a couple of happy news.
Regarding my december hols before i head off to tekong
Very excited about the prospects of it.
=)
*
Anyways, yesterday was rather bittersweet i guess.
After the GP paper,
headed down to town for the RSAF seminar with bro and loke.
Signed up for air force again.
=)
Hopefully this time i get a reply.
*
Headed down to Marina Promenade after that to chill till evening.
Fiddled with bro's laptop and was throwing
stones and rocks into the Singapore river.
Managed to skip a few.
Sat down by my favourite spot and just reflected on what has happened to me
for the past few months
and how it had affected me.
*
Left at around 7 plus to head home.
Yeap.
*
Chatted with Maria again today.
Its nice getting reacquainted with an old friend.
=)
It was kinda fun talking to her about our problems,
cause apparently, we both are in the same situation
one way or another.
Maria : Its nice to know that you still rem me.
haha, eventhough after all these years, you still talk to me with such
warmth and friendliness.
=)
*
As usual, trigger-happy me took some pics of the chill out sessions
at Marina Promenade.
On our way to Marina Promenade. Quick snap along Suntec city
At the Air force seminar
On our way to MP, we saw this huge Pikachu. It was fat but cute.
i felt like kicking it though. =P
Bro at MP...this is not posed.
Bro at MP again...and yes, this is posed.
Halim....dunno what is he starring at. It was a multi-racial outing....1 chinese, i malay and i North Indian. Hah.
Outline of the S'pore skyline against the sunset
*
WARNING!
Do not touch this Door.
It is alarmed! You will shock it! It will get frightened
and run away.
Can you believe this, the horrid, jarring english mistake!
And this piece of crap is at Citylink
The toilet beside the Akashi Jap Restaurant.
Oh man....this is really an embaressment.
to S'pore's standard of english.
I mean....it is ok if it is in some heartland shopping centre.
But in a place so saturated with foreign tourists?
inconcievable
Oh wells,
-Shrugs-
A's in 30 days flat.
Muggermon is alive and kicking.
Full steam ahead.
Chiong-sua ah~
=)
Alan gagged and reeled at
11:34 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Today started out pretty normal.
Rather cool morning, nice breeze, nice clouds
Woke up from a wonderful dream.
=)
But will not choose to reveal it or discuss it here.
*
School was normal, did surprisingly well for Chem
and got a B for maths
only to get it pulled down to a D
because of an abysmally abysmal P2.
Its ok, its all part of the learning process.
Will not go ranting about how carelessly stupid i was.
Or how i could have managed to get a B if not for my idiocracy.
This will only spur me on to do better.
*
GP was interesting, engaged with Mrs Loke about the
lowering of moral standards in society today
About how teens are becoming increasingly promiscuous.
No doubt, that is true.
But one point of hers struck me.
She mentioned, about
where do we draw the line about Pre-marital Sex.
Is it morally and ethically correct
if the person you happen to have intercourse with before marriage,
is indeed your one true love.
AND not to mention, the person you'll marry in the end?
Is there any wrong in this?
It is stated in the bible that, when Man and Woman engage in intercourse,
they become one.
The Man has right over the woman as much as the woman has right over the man.
Now i'm not saying that it is definitely correct to have PMS with your
BF/GF if you are confident of marrying them,
but really, it is about the notion of whether can society accept
the fact that sometimes, people really do engage in PMS
out of true love?
*
So often we hear of people saying that "Ah, that guy is in for the sex only"
But what if, the question that should be asked is,
"This guy truly loves his girl"
*
Before i carry on, please bear in mind that i'm merely,
reflecting on what is being discussed during GP
and is in no way connected to my real life.
*
So often, people always think that PMS is out of thrills, fun and enjoyment
But have people ever stopped and think that,
maybe, it is done out of love?
*
It is often quoted that "love breaks/transcends all boundaries"
so if thats the case, why should marriage be a boundary?
Must Sex be practised only after marriage?
*
True, this notion will bear no ground, if sex is committed out of
Promiscuity.
but what i'm talking about here is, LOVE.
This is when, two individuals feel right for eachother,
and have made a ready commitment for eachother.
Which brings me to the next point.
*
Why is it that society often stereotype people under the age of 20
to not be able to understand love?
Can it not be that two people ARE in love and they ARE made for eachother?
*
So my bone of contention here is,
should PMS be allowed, if true love is involved,
not for the thrill of it, or the fun of it.
Just simply, because love between two people
Exists in its purest of form and essence.
*
Anyways, after school, headed straight down to WRL
did 2 Bio mock papers.
Mentally taxing papers. Challenging questions and tones of application
But it gave my mind a good workout.
*
Left at around 8 plus with the intention to catch a movie.
But the earliest screening for White Chicks was 10pm.
Contemplated for a moment.
And decided to buy the tickets.
So there i was, in Cine Causeway, alone
with my schoolbag and in my uniform.
sitting by one of those stools.
Glarring up at the mega screen.
*
i must have watch the entire screenings 2-3 times over.
Started thinking about the As, and Beatrice.
Truth be told,
i broke down inside.
I was tearing and my heart was being torn to shreds.
But i shook myself up.
And whipped out a June 03 Bio paper.
And did about 3/4 of it.
*
White chicks was interesting.
Nice show, full of slapstick humor.
Was well worth my $8.50
Left the cinema feeling slightly better.
But, was still thinking about what i was thinking before.
*
Sometimes life is just not fair at all.
The person you love the most, has to be the one that breaks your heart.
But it is all part of growing up, and experiences we glean
the lessons we learn now, will be lessons we teach our young.
The experiences we learn now,
becomes knowledge for us in future.
*
But once again, truth be told.
I will like to fall in love with her all over again.
If even for a day, just so much as to be able to hug her
and tell her one last time, how much she means to me.
If i should leave the world the very next day,
i will leave with a smiling face and a tear in my eye.
I will Die in peace.
*
Though i constantly tell myself to stop mentioning about her in my blog,
i still have to,
because a blog is about
letting people read about what is important to us in our lives,
and yes, she is important.
*
And i do not deny this, that even if you have stopped loving me,
stopped caring for me,
to me, i have come to terms with that.
But eitherway, even if i should ever find a new partner one day,
who may or may not love me as much as you once did,
you will always have a special place
right here *points to heart*
*
Take care my dear friends.
Alan gagged and reeled at
1:10 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Mt heart is forever aching.
But...i must...hang on.
I must push on...i cannot stop not.
No...not now....i've come this far.....
i cannot let myself down.........
no matter how much my heart still aches for her....
i must push on...
i must
Alan gagged and reeled at
1:05 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
