<...::: Scionfire© : You're Owned! :::...>

.:Tuesday, September 27, 2005:.

Yay, now i'm home. Have cooled down quite abit, not that i'm always so vituperative lah. Just feel a little irritated by certain events. =)

So, i have abrasion all over me, in between my legs, where its near my ahem , under my armpits, blisters on both heels, blisters on some toes....popped and up popped Ouch! The abrasion patches are so red and raw looking, i really wonder how am i gonna do my drills on thurday when the Panglima or Lt. Gen of the Indo Army comes and visit Dieppe Barracks. (This buggart called us Guardsmen City Boys @$&^@$(@^!!! Who helped them when the Tsunami struck? It was us, the City Boys!. Still talk so much. >_<.)

*

Oh well, we'll see how lah. =) YAY! Sheryl is organising a 2E1 class outing on next Sat! That is 8th Oct, which is just 2 days before GCC begins. Won't say that i'm that excited to go, but hey, i better enjoy myself before i get whacked left right center by my Guards Seniors during GCC.
According to what my encik, SSG Ivan said,

"Rest assured that you will be tekaned by us."

Hahah

*

Looks like its over, i've placed that period behind me. Its time to move on! Surge forth into the darkness! The unchartered seas! The unbeaten tracks! The undemarcated routes! The unpaved roads and the shit-laden realms of GCC!

As what Support Coy CSM, MSG Tok said and i quote!

"Life is not like a box of Chocolates, it is like a box of shit, you'll never know what kind of colour you're gonna get.>

Moral of the....quote? Well, Life will be better if you accept that Shit does and will always happen. =)
Its a natural kind of thing, just treat it as some kind of evolutionary thing, survival of the fittess. Yeap yeap. =)
Think i will take a short nap then maybe go watch a movie or sumthing. =)

*

Bersu-Rai!

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 6:17 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Integrity

Some people just have no frigging integrity. Everything they must cheat. I do not discount the fact that most people did not cheat during the 12km fast march test. But some just in the bid to get ahead and be faster than the rest have to resort to underhand measures to get ahead. Do not discount my facts, i take note of everyone who passes by me and whom i overtook. Even forcing myself to push way ahead of them so that they cannot catch up. The result? They came in earlier than me. I did not even see them at the turning point, but on the way back, yes. Still they ended earlier than me. How is this possible? You tell me. They magically flew? teleportation? magical legs that can make them run or walk faster than the speed of sound?

You tell me.

Its ok if i am the last, its ok if i do not complete it, but its not ok when i have to lose to someone who cheats and cut corners. I enjoy a good fight, not an underhand one.

You all know who you are. I was fighting neck to neck with you all, and i overtook you guys. Cheaters. Cheaters. CHEATERS!

*

Eventhough you may have passed the 12km fast march, i will always regard it as a failure on your part. You may gloat about it,but i will roll my eyes away when you do. You may be happy with your timing, but i will be sure you will ferel guilt inside by shortchangting your fellow Speacilists in arms.

You all do not deserve to call yourself winners when all you guys do is cheat.

>_<

*

I'm angry because i gave my best and my all (12Km ain't exactly the easiest of marches to do), yet i had to be shortchanged for my effort by some buggarts who just do not know the meaning of integrity. Yes, they may claim that they are being smart by doing so, but is your own personal worth, your own personal glory and dignity, worth it when your integrity is being questioned? When it is being casted by a showdow of doubt?

Now, You tell me.

It happened before during the 2Km swim, now it is happening again.

Unbelievable? Sheesh...

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 12:56 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Monday, September 26, 2005:.

Today ended quite early with nothig much to do.....spent the morning atr Pasir Laba Camp doing the electronic range...missed Marksman by 3 shots...damned. =( But at least i was one fo the better few....lol.

*

Hmm, came back to camp and immediately went off to do drill rehearsal for the Lt. Gen from Indonesia coming down to Dieppe Barracks this Thursday.....so more sedias, Hormat Senjatas.....senang di-ris... I just became fairer only to turn darker...

=(

Tomorrow still have rehearsals....in addition to my 12km Fast March Test which will take place in the morning. Its gonna be OTOT so i really need to find someone whom i can pace with..perhaps Raj since i'm quite accustomed to his pace anyway.

*

Sigh.....you know, i've not felt like that for a very long time, this feeling of longing for someone, since...last year i guess when B3 broke up with me. I thought i won't have to feel this pain again, yet this year, right about the same time as last year, i have to feel it all over again. I won't deny that i'm better prepared this time around. However, it still hurts lah...i mean..unless you are a piece of rock or stone, i'm pretty sure you will at least feel something if you had true feelings for someone right.

Urgh, i will try....no..no more tries.

I WILL move on from now on, I think not only is it impractical, its unwise and throughly unpragmatic to continue the way i am. It will not sustain, better to remain as friends now *nods*.

*

ANYWAY, Phlogger is finally up and running....heh, see the window to your right, its my mobile blog...yeap, i posted one phlog last night, yeap. Quite surprised its actually working again, after nearly a year's hiatus from my blog. Hahaha.

Sigh, i think i might go to the Gym to build myself up, been feeling flabby and unfit of late. Heh.

Take care y'all.

- Alan PTM

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Alan gagged and reeled at 6:44 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, September 25, 2005:.

I realise that my prevcious posts have been a lil too harsh and well, unlike me...i don't know. i just feel quite stupid you know.

Bah. anyway i have to book in now, so i will keep this short and sweet.

Life consists of many paths, many roads, some lead us to greater heights, some leads us downhill, some even lead us nowhere Thence, life is about making these decisions, whether do we walk down a known path, or choose to take a risk and walk down an undemarcated one.

Wherever it will lead us, one must always bear in mind that whatever choices we make, ultimately, we must be accountable for it, some will allow us to turn back, some might not.

So...it will always be best to think carefully first before we plunge into the deep unknown.......whether we realise it or not.

Think before you act and think before you talk.

Take care.

-Alan, signing off for the week

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Alan gagged and reeled at 8:52 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

_{Click to enlarge}

I made a new collage of sorts to reflect the people in my life thus far.....as you can see, it is mainly made up of my JC and council peeps, cause undeniably, they made up a huge portion of my life. My treasured friends include Deb, Reynn, Loke, Halim, Bob (from ADF) and my fellow army dudes...Of course not forgetting, my parents and my brother whom i'm so proud of.

I had another one previously, mainly made up of the same theme, but it was done pre-enlistment, so the Army was not factored in yet, as time goes by, more of such collages will be made to reflect my ever changing life, perhaps my next one will include more of my Army life, perhaps my section men, or maybe even my BMT pals after we ORD.

*

Anyway, did some thinking, i mean, if she is just gonna ignore me like that, then i guess, she ain't worth my time. I beg to think otherwise, but i feel that the mind can be so capricious, one moment, you decide you wish to talk to someone cause you're in a good mood, the next, you shun him. I mean, even normal friends don't do that. Urgh, so i guess i'm just gonna do what is necessary. Go Platonic. Emotions? Nah, i don't want to get hurt any further.

*

not that you'll bother lah. Urgh. I feel so taken for granted.

k fine. i'm done.

*

I think i'm gonna make a new one now, without a certain someone in it.

>_<

Guess Pisces and Gemini just cannot click.

Alan gagged and reeled at 6:31 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Saturday, September 24, 2005:.

Went to the Yishun Stadium gym just now. I must say, its not bad! For $2.50 i can work out for as long as i want, that is of course until closing time which is kinda early (8pm). But as for the machines, it is well equipped and most importantly, well-maintained No weorn out seats, worn out handle bars or rusty ones at that. The treadmill is new with a nice view to boot.

The crowd is also not bad, made up mainly of housewives, students and NSmen or NSFs, unlike Cali which is well, made up of a different kind of crowd. =)

*

As i reached there at 1850, i could only work out for an hour which was quite sufficient for me i guess. =)

*

I've decided to block out this entire post because i think its too much oif an info overload....if you have the patience, then by all means read...if not then ignore it totally...

_{Been thinking of asking her out for a movie, but she seems busy, not replying my sms-es at all. I don't deny that she is on my mind all the time, but i must be realistic, she is going back Korea soon and i cannot possibly maintain a Long distance relationship with her should it even occur. So all i can do now is try to spend as much time with her before she flies back for 3.5 years. I will really miss her very very very much when she goes back Korea. She is so special to me, and i treasure her alot. The times we've shared, whether is it just the walk home to her place, the few movies we've watched or the few dinners we had together, it is all a special memory to me. She may not feel the same towards me, but ultimately i chose to follow my heart which is her, but being pragmatic and sensible, i know it will only end up in pain and hurt should i choose to force or walk down the path i so want to take. I must be practical, i must be pragmatic, i must be matured enough to know the consequences. i must not hurt myself unecessarily or her for that matter.

Yes i want to be with her, share her happiness, her joys, be there for her when she is down, make her smile when she cries, make her laugh when she is feeling the blues, stand by her, protect her and make her feel special. But knowing what i know and being who i am, i know it is all not possible. So i can either only wait, or completely let go.

The answer can only be answered with time, no one can answer it except time. 3.5 years is a long time. Even if we do not ever get together, at least i know we are still good friends. Sigh...such is the nature of Love

*

_{Ga Yeong, Nol ichulsu opsulkoya, no opshi salsun opso. Nol onchena sarang-halkoya. Nal kidalyo cho!!}}

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 8:44 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

I feel like going to the gym to pump up some weights...=( I feel so lonely.....damned

Alan gagged and reeled at 5:15 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

I need....to....stop....stop thinking about.....you......It is....driving...me...crazy...

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:08 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

GCC is drawing near and the anticipation is just killing me. I'm scared yet excited at the same time. it is going to be tough, tougher than anything that i've gone through so far. I do not know if i'll be able to take it or come out of it as a whole. Maybe i might get injured, maybe i might break and give up, i don't know. No nights out, pure seclusion, book out on sunday afternoon and book in on the same day.

Turnouts, PT runs, lots of interval runs, rapelling, sea-borne assaults, and the worst being SUMMEX (Summary Exercise), one whole week in the forest doing missions after missions without much rest, casualty evacuations, FBO PT, Fast Marches, Long route Marches..dawn attacks.

I hope i can survive it all.

I do want my Khaki Beret and Tab very badly. It is the only thing that is within my grasp now

*

This week is the second last week of UIP (Unit Immersion Prgram) and one of the shiongest at that.

Monday : 8Km Fast March plus PT. Nearly died due to inproper hydration, burned out and dehydrated by the 6km, but i held on to finish the 8km. I totally dried out, no persperation, dry mouth etc.

Tuesday : 2km Guards Pool swim test (there is still the 2km Coastal Swim), managed to Pass. =)

Wednesday : Guards PT ( SSG Lorne posted out, so SSG Ivan skipped it) In the end, we did lots of running and interval training up a hill. Couldn't walk properly after that, considering that my muscles weren't fully recovered after the Fast March and swim.

Thursday : IPPT, due to my sprained wrist, i skipped the pull up station. But still did the rest anyway.

Friday : 10Km Fast March at Lorong Asrahma. Killer one. This tiem i hydrated myself properly befor sleeping, completed it without much difficulty except that i did feel tired at the end. But it wasn't as bad as the 8km one.

Abit more about fast marches for those who do not know what is it.

Unlike cnventional marches that we do in BMT or in training schools like SISPEC or OCS, Fast Marches are in fact Marches done at rates exceeding 4km/h. There are three classes of marches, or which varies in intensity.

1) Route Marches (Rates under 4Km/h) TSR(training Safety Regulation) dictates that a mandatory rest of 15 mins must be incorporated per 1 Hr, that is 4km. So there is rest in between Route Marches. Done in FBO and walked at a normal, walking pace. Not much physical exertion except the weight of the FBO.

2) Forced Marches, roughly similar to Route Marches, except that it is usually done at a faster pace and for longer distances with lesser rest periods per block of distance. Also done in FBO. Its like a sandwich between a Route March and a Fast March

3) Fast Marches, done at rates exceeding 4KM/h, fast marches are done at fast walking pace in FBO. If you wanna try how fast march is like, its basically doing a fast walk, walking at a pace just before you break into a run. Usually, a large stride and strong Shin muscles are needed for Fast Marches due to its intentisty and pressure exerted on the legs, especially so on the shin. Fast Marches usually have little or no rest for the entire duration and its basically a "Chiong all the way" kind of march. Distances can range from simple 4Km to a gruelling 12-15Km. Physically tiring and exerting.

*

Next week will be my 12km Fast march test. Have to pass it as it is one of the Veto factors for GCC. Then there is ATP (Advanced Trainfire Program) If i do well, i can get a Marksman badge AND not to mention $200. IMT, Range and PT is what next week is gonna be about, it being the last week of UIP signals that it might also be the last week of Heaven for me in Dieppe Barracks. Just need to get Mentally psyched up and prepared for GCC.

Guards! HOOAH!.

*

Missing her all the time.

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 8:12 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Tuesday, September 20, 2005:.

Alan...you think too much, you think too much.....you just think too much dammit.

-_-

*

Shagged like mad. Monday had 8km fast march ( a march that is almost close to jogging, but not quite also. Done in FBO of rates exceeding 4km/h) without a single rest ( for Route Marches there must be a mandatory rest period of 15mins every 4Km), Everybody was literally dying under the hot dry weather, many people ended up lagging behind, but the main pack stayed close togther and thus the majority of us passed.

Then today, first thing in the morning, 2Km swim (that is 40 Laps), it may not seem much on paper, but when you get down to swimming it, you will DIE. Its so sianifying and dead boring. Managed to complete it anyway, after nearly drowning halfway. lOL.

Tomorrow, 10km Fast March...die lah, my shin cannot take it anymore, it hurts liek mad....and that blister, it popped just now. OUCH!

*

After swim visited 3 Guards camp at Bedok NOT FAIR They're camp is so new and nice.....urgh. Then met Gayeong for dinner at Bedok.....went to Raffles to collect her new MP3 player, then when to Bishan to eat YOSHINOYA! $1.80 per bowl only! It rox my sox off!. Sent her home, then went home, so here i am now blogging my quite happy day today. =)

Oh well, BOOK IN LOH!!

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 10:14 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, September 18, 2005:.

_{I woke up today feeling the pinch of emptiness, that sore feeling within the bowels of your heart that edges you on for that longing. Yet, when i picked up my phone, the emptiness within me was amplified by the sheer weight of reality.

It was all a dream. A dream i've always been having, a dream that deceives me all the time.

Once again, my thoughts have been proven right for the upteen time so far. You don't seem to realise i exist anymore.

*

I will move on from now on. I will, you distract me too much.

Hope that next week it will be better....better than this week.

Ouchie.}

Alan gagged and reeled at 11:14 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Tuesday, September 13, 2005:.

Integrity Games.

My Swergeant Major likes to indulge and make us coursees go through some guilt trip whenever we fall out or take excuse from an activity, espcially so when it is a physical one. He likes to play by integrity, making us feel absolutely guilty.

Today i was the victim of such a game. Was supposed to have SOC this morning, as my wrist hadn't recovered fully, i knew fully well that i will not be able to take the SOC test. But i still donned on my full SOC attire anyway and went to report. When i reported, the Sergeant IC gathered all the status people (7 in total), i asked if i could take the SOC and he said no. His reason being that i was on excuse, and not because of my wrist. I told him i wanted to run, or at least do the leg parts instead of those that required upper limbs. He still told me to fall out.

So he told me to go back and change into vest slack. Which i did. When i returned, my encik had already gathered the course and spoke about him being unappy about the number of people falling out (7 in total). He then went on to talk about how we supposedly sabo-ed the entire course to come back on Sat instead to run the SOC. I felt so agitated, so maligned...so...accused.

And so SOC was cancelled, supposdely because of us, the 7 sabo-kings. But i still maintain the fact that I HAD NO INTENTION TO KENG OR CHEAT. It made me feel f**king pissed off when my integrity was being questioned.

I still do Guards PT with my fellow cadres, i still run 8km, 10km, 12 km with them, i still suffer with them, i still swim 1km with them, go through all the punishments with them, does it look like i'm one who kengs? But it made it sound as if i wanted to. Yes, during Guards PT, i do not do the diamond push-ups, but i still try my best and do wide-armed or sometimes crunches when my wrist hurts too badly. But i've never taken the easy way out. Even if i have to, i make sure i still do a fair bit of suffering.

You all can question my motives or actions, but NEVER EVER question my INTEGRITY. I value that very much and i will never take the short cut when the rest of my mates are suffering.

URGH >_<*

*

As usual, had Guards PT instead of SOC, one f fthe most shiong Guards PT ever, and since Encik Lorne is posting out soon, he said that he is gonna give us one last Shiong one before he posts out by the end of this week. SO counting back, i expect it to come on either Thurs or Fri. This week is gonna be very shiong, tomorrow outfield for Underslung again, day and night Ops. Then on thursday, 6km FBO fast march and followed on friday by a 1.5km swim before we book out.

Someone help me, but i will not drop out.

*

Had CO interview just now, talked to him about my ambitions to be an Officer still and he did highlight two more routes that i can take, provided i sign on. One is before i ORD, by April when the working year for SAF opens, i express interest to the HQ that i want to sign on as a Guards Officer. Secondly is after I ORD and upon completion of Uni, come back and express interest to sign on, but by then, where i will be posted to will be in question sncne i may or may not be posted back to Guards. But if possible, i do hope to be able to sign on as a Guards Officer come April. But within these few months, i will review my options and see whether am i able to get used to army life or even enjoy it, cause lets face it, by signing on, i'll be giving away at least 6 years of my life to the Armed Forces. Not to mention that i will have to go through OCS with the younger cadets. Something i don't really mind actually, but this time i must reallllly think through it very vey carefully, cause i will have 3 issues to hold me back.

1) Age - whether will i be able to keep up with the trainign pace

2) Accustomisation to Unit life - whether will i be able to adapt back to that of a Trainee's life.

3) ORD mood, whetehr am i able to give up my ORD and Freedom for the SAF.

I have about 6 months to think through everythgni befor ei make the move cause as what CO said, each unit, especially Guards, have a certain quota and cap to its Officer intake, so i must act quick if i want a spot. WIll think carefully, discuss with my parents and well, for now, just take thigns easy, go through GCC and see what being a Guardsmen is all about.

*

On a lighter note, just played soccer with course mates at the MPH, 2 words summed it up for me

I SUCK

Give me a Rugby ball and i will play well, give me a soccer ball? and i will fumble and kick like a wuss. I just cannot play soccer lah~ i dunno why. =( Guess my legs aren't that flexible or nimble. Bah. ence, to save myself from further football humiliation, i went to run instead. Got my body all wet and warm, felt good perspiring. =) Ran back to bunk, took a nice shower and now here i am, in Dieppe Mess blogging. They're renovating the place now, hence it is a lil vacant and smells of turpentine everywhere, the aircon isn't even working. But still, this is the only working accessible computer in the whole camp that i am entitled to, so might as well right.

Make full use of what you have!!!.

But its weird, cause i cannot access Friendster. SOmehow to the MINDEF authorities, Friendster is on par with Pornographic websites. LOL.

Dumb.

Been a long post, will kulua-Baris now.

Take care y'all.

*

Oh gosh, i miss you so much....so so so so so much. Otoke chinetseyo?

=( Miss you....

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 8:58 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Monday, September 12, 2005:.

So much for Quality eh, the Giordano umbrella i bought 2 days ago (which meant that i used it not more than twice) suddenly broke today, leaving me all drenched as i came back from my grocery shopping at NorthPoint. The grey clouds brought back rather terrifying memories i had in Taiwan while training, but the downpour wasn't as bad compared to the Typhoon rain i exprienced in taiwan.

_{the one that broke after just 2 days}

Just so in case you're wondering, i've ditched the spoilt umbrella already. It didn't break at the handles nor at the spines, but rather, the entire spring popped-out of the sliding mechanism, effectively dislodging itself and rendering the whole damned thing useless. Being a resoureful dude that i am, i tried to do an IA Drill - Immediate Action Drill, struggling to fix back the spring into the mechanism, to which my utter chagrin, found the mechanism casing to have split into two parts. Which....kinda made the whole Operation Umbrella-Fiximo a complete and disasterous failure.

Being cornered by the rain, i made a mad dash for the dry, safe comforts of my void deck, only to realise that my Newpaper had been soaked by the rain. -_-"

So much for a wet day huh...Anyway, bought loads of groceries to bring into camp, i'm determined to change the eating culture in my bunk, no more chocolate or fatty laden foods, i'm revolutionisng the diet of my fellow bunkmates by bringing in Healthy and Delicious snacks like dried cranberries, whole wheat flakes and high fibre cereals!!! Fatty and cholesterol-bursting-through-the-roof-type foods like Mamee, Snickers, Apollo Wafer Biscuits and Twistess will thus be banned.

Haha, ok, thats a tall order, but as long as i restrain myself from those, i guess i will still be fine larx.

Haha.

The skies are an ominous Grey now, the rain pelting down at the windows, the room, a comfy temperature, just right for sleeping Yawnss. I guess being posted to a unit has its advantages huh, especially mroe so if the camp is just a 5min drive away from home =) no more Pasir Ris by 1900, or watsoeva, now its

Be in camp by 2300Hrs WoohoO!!!

Hehehehehe.

_{The ominous grey clouds that hung over the roads like a badly laid tent canopy}

_{The proud (and damp) grocer with his bag of healthy goodies! Buahahaha}

I'm gonna watch Tv now!! Whee~~~

Alan gagged and reeled at 6:45 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

This is soo soo true...

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

*

Sigh......

Alan gagged and reeled at 3:58 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Your Kissing Purity Score: 77% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed

But the kisses you've given are very missed

Kissing Purity Test

Your French Name is:

Mortimer D'amours

What's Your French Name?

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

*

Haha, funny...

Alan gagged and reeled at 3:54 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Hmmm, interesting, i just did this quiz i took off Marlene's blog. =)

Your #1 Love Type: INFJ

The Protector

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.
For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.
However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

Your #2 Love Type: INFP

The Idealist

In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship.
For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up.

Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive.
However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space.

Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

Your #3 Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

Your #4 Love Type: ISFP

The Artist

In love, you feel deeply and experience intense emotions.
For you, sex is serious. It's how you best express your feelings.

Overall, you are laid back, warm, and a good listener.
However, you tend to seem lazy and disinterested sometimes.

Best matches: ESFJ and ENFJ

Your #5 Love Type: ENFJ

The Giver

In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail.
For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring.

Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational.
However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner.

Best matches: INFP or ISFP

What's Your Love Type?

*

hahaha, interesting...

Alan gagged and reeled at 3:46 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

My heart palpitated when i found her blog. It brought me back one year ago when any sign, whether was it she logged into MSN or a change in friendster profile will throw me into a emotional spiral where my heartbeat will palpitate and i will break out in a cold shudder.

i never knew she had a blog, she never told me. It was by sheer coincidence that i found it.

Have not seen her online for a very long time already. i wonder how is she? Whether is she fine, cause sometimes, you're kinda worried that when you don't hear from someone after so long, that particular person might have died or something, or might have migrated without telling us.

Hmm, weird. Really hope she is fine.

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:52 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

_{Logo of the 2005 SBR & AHM : Sheares Bridge Run and Army Half Marathon}

The 2005 SBR and Army Half-Half Marathon

What a blasting day i had today. Woke up early in the morning for the Army Half Marathon. Wore my Guards running attire and my dad was so kind to fetch me down to the Padang whereby i joined my Comrades in arms to run for our formation. There were people from other Formations walking around, the OCS people in their gaudy and rather ugly Purple overalls and the SISPEC people in the army PT vest attire carrying the SISPEC flag. Of course you'll expect the other formations like Commandos, Armour, Combat Engin etc to be there.

But Guards was big and well, the 3 Guards people were basically warming up as one big unit, leaving us 1 Guards people by the side.

Buggarts.

And so the run started, more like a slow walk for the first few hundred meters due to the mass of people starting off at one go. Then the pace finally took off and we were soon running. I ran with 3 other cadres of mine, Eric, Yi Ru and Ihsan. We found a good pace and tried to consistently hold on to it for the semi-long route ahead. We ran up and pass Benjamin Sheares bridge, passing by the CBD in the process, then we turn out at Kallang Indoor Stadium, then National Stadium, finally as we neared Kallang Basin, we took a further run down towards Marina Promenade. Whereby we ran the outskirts of the Singapore River towards the Esplanade and finally turning out along Nicoll Highway to end at the Padang.

Running in twos and in a cube, we kept in pace, the sound from our shoes pounding the ground in unison must have left a rather "whoa" impression in the people that ran beside us. Wearing our white and Maroon Guards running attire, could feel "wind" behind us somehow lah. Hehehe, we are afterall, Elite Warriors

And as i ran past OCS cadets, i cannot help but feel a sense of pride and achievement. Soem were visibly struggling, i mean, some only....others took it well i guess.

Our pace must have been quite fierce as we were soon somewhere near the front. Of course i nearly died along the way, but the 4 of us kept encouraging eachother. A very good experience i'll say. As we neared our end point, under the Benjamin Sheares bridge, just 2 km to the finishing line, the 3 Guards people once again wanted to wayang, so they gathered all the Guardsmen, be it 1 or 3 Guards, to run as a formation. so we broke our momentum to wait for the rest....and the thing was, cause 1 Guards started a lil late and we were in front, we waited too long, by then the 3 Guards people were almost all there and they started off. Damn buggarts, they spoiled my run with my 3 cadres, we didnt have to stop, they made it seem like a guilt trip if you didn't. So we did. But in that time i managed to catch up with Andre who is in OCS. =)

So i completed the last 2 km with much difficulty, my legs having rested a lil too long, my thighs were cramping and it became a real struggle, but after about 300 plus meters, my legs were warmed up sufficiently to dash the last 1.5km through to the finsihing line. Great running in wearing the Guards name on my chest.
Guards! Woohaha! Really dashed in to finish strong. A Photographer even took a picture of me running in. =P Heehee....

I enjoyed the run tremedously, cause first of all, the route was very good, scenic with nice breeze along the way, being able to run side by side with my fellow cadres added the "OOOOoommmph" factor for today's run, and best of all, being able to run wearing the Guards attire made the run even more meaningful for me. But essentially, what made it all the more better was because i pushed myself hard for today's run and i know i did my best, so when i ran pass the finshing line just in front of the Padang, i felt wonderful

I do not confess to be a good or strong runner, i did struggle during the run, stopping a couple of times to walk a lil to ctach up on air or to drink water. But the fact that i started off the run without thinking of chao-kenging or slacking i felt, proved my commitment to want to better my fitness level. I'm still slow as compared to many of my cadres, but i'm willing to try and be faster by pushing myself harder and longer. Something which i did today thanks to the help and encouragment of my 3 fellow running cadres.

Guards! Hooah!

At the carnival, i bought 2 Guards iron on patches and a Combat Engineer one for my brother, he was somehow very happy about it. =P

*

Though it was only 12Km and not 21Km (making it a Half-Half Marathon), it was still a great feeling because i felt i exceeded myself today by pushing myself hard during the run to keep pace with Eric and Yi Ru who are essentially, very good runners. But still, the highlight of the day apart form the run was catching up with alot of my friends who are in different formations, met Sean, Tze Qin, lots of them. Went back with Sean and we talked about our different army lives so far, he is an Armour Engineer Specialist, so he is a tankie commander while i'm a Guardsman to be. Interesting how the army allows you to take different paths.

*

Reached home at around lunch time, had my Subway sandwich, watched Hamburger Hill then unwittingly fell alseep. till now. Lol, tiring day, but overall a good day as well.

*

Arrgh, i wanted to call her in the evening to wish her luck for her prelims tomorrow, but i was asleep! I pray that her paper tomorrow will go smoothly.
=)

Oh well, booking in tomorrow for the another week of training in 1 Guards, its getting tougher from now on, we're having PT mroe regularly now and i'll expect us to be running 15km this week. Timed of course. My legs are tired and painful, but i always believe, it is only with Pain that we are able to feel alive and know that we are alive.

Once again, GUARDS! HOOAH!

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 12:20 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, September 11, 2005:.

This song aptly describes my feelings towards a certain someone.

I dedicate this song to her.

Lifehouse - You and Me

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause there's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause there's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause there's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

*

What can i say but that i miss you very much. In fact no amount of words will do justice or suffice enough to describe the longing i have. But like what James Blunt sang in his song "You're beautiful",

"And its time to face the truth, i will never be with you......"

Sad...oh well..

Thats life.

Alan gagged and reeled at 2:22 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Watched Quidam with Cherlyn today, albeit a lil wet cause of the rain, but we made it! After a mad dash across two roads! And by what coincidence, we both wore white tops with jeans! After a brief hiccup with the ticketing, we were finally in, drenched hair, drenched clothes and all. The >Grand Chapiteau was indeed breathtaking, with the stage props inside the gigantic tent all elaborately made up.

*

Cause of the hiccup, we missed about 10 minutes of the show, which was ok, since it wasn't much anyway. The performers were fantabulous, twirling, swinging, jumping, carrouselling, rolling up ropes, rolling down ropes, climbing up ropes, climbing down.....you get the idea.....=P

Hence the rather hefty $120 price tag, but if you ask me, apart from the caucasian woman behind me who kept laughing so Heartily, till it became irritating, the price tag was worth every single cent. Sometimes, the performers were so good till it became freaky. Like the twirlimng yo-yo girls, they are so young, yet sooooo good they deserved a standing ovation, flicking the double yo-yo from one another to another, flinging it up high into the air, doing some somersaults then catching it, really made their performance breathtaking. And judging from their body sizes, i don't think they ar epass 10?

THEY WERE GOOD, VERY GOOD.

Then came the more serious performers, solemn mood lighting, accompanied by poignant, mood music, set the stage for rope dancers, as they twirled around, swung around, we were treated to a visual feast, not to mention the live music accompaniment which made the whole act even more memorable.

To break the solemn mood of certain acts, there were the two clowns, who provide buckets worth of laughter, the way they acted and brought out the funny side of the "volunteers (they were chosen randomly)" made it such a pleasure to watch.

*

Then the Stella Artois beer i had, oooo ecellent. Today i reaffirmed my stand that Stella Artois is the best tasting beer i've had so far, tiger being the worst. =P

Took some pics with Cherlyn as well,

Lol,

Both taken outside the Blue and Yellow Grand Chapiteau, at the corner of Beach Road and Rochor Road

Hahaha.

I look tan, i know, thats cause i had a whole day of outfield yesterday doing underslung ops. Lol.

*

After that had dinner with her at Ajisen Ramen, at Parco, yum yum, ncie ramen, but a tad too oily for me.

=)

Oh well, nice day it was, as what Andrea said,

"You are no longer a Cirque Virgin"

Hahaha.

Alan gagged and reeled at 12:14 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Saturday, September 10, 2005:.

going to watch Quidam with Cherlyn later..whee, gonna burn $120 in my ocket, but its ok! My first tiem watching a Circus, always felt that the poeple looked either fugly or scary. Oh well, Guess it iwll be nice bah. It better be or i'm gonna demand my $$$$ back!!

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:36 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Thursday, September 08, 2005:.

Arrgh, blogging from Dieppe Mess now, just ended a whole day of underslung ops. I specialise in rigging up millitary vehicles, tiring and to me, an overkill to secure the vehicles and its contents so extensively.

I mean for wat?

*

Really getting sick of some people inc amp, liek thsoe i mentioned earlier, those who "porh" the balls of the Sergeants. Can't stand them, pieces of crap they are. Hate all of them. Just keep your mouth shut and stop porhing...its irritating!!

K, mess is gonna close soon.

Book out omorrow for long weekend!

YAY!!

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 9:55 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Wednesday, September 07, 2005:.

Guards Creed

"We are GUARDSMEN WARRIORS,
Resolute in Loyalty
Steadfast in Commitment.
We FIGHT for our COUNTRY,
Our HOME and our FAMILY.

Land Warriors from Air and Sea,
Unfailing in Toughness
Valiant in our Actions,
We destroy all foes who challenge our mission.

We are ELITE Warriors,
With Daring initiative,
We Rule the Day,
We Rule the Night.
Always Ready....
READY TO STRIKE!!!

*

Back from camp for a brief moment befor i have to head back again for another week of trainning in guards Currently, we're still under what is known as the "UIP" or "Unit Induction Program. It is basically to adjust us newly graduated Specs from a school based life that we've been so used to for the past 8 months, to that of a unit one. Lots of PT, lots of runs, lots of lectures etc to get us all geared up and prepared for what is to lie ahead

Guards Conversion Course

Do not mistaken the men GCC as that of the Commander's GCC. Our GCC (Commander's) will be a 6 week long course which will see us doing runs of distances that stretches up till 15Km, under timed conditions. You fail, you're most likely to get confined or have your priviledge of Nights out taken from you. In short, out GCC is the toughest to undertake and pass.

In the 6 weeks, what can be expected apart from the tough and torturing PT will be bascially lessons and missions with regards to the spectrum of OPS a Guards unit is tasked to. ie : Heli-rapelling, building repelling, coastal hook operations, amphibious infiltration, land based infiltraion, the specialised Infantry roles that the Guardsmen are tasked to are by no means easy, but with confidence, i believe i will be able to pull myself through the 6weeks GCC.

Just hearing the older Specs talk about their GCC made me shiver momentarily, yet at the same time, filled me with anticipation and desire as i see it as a test of my endurance and physical limits. I am by no means a fit person as compared to my other compatriots, but what i feel seperates me from them is my motivation. I'm highly motivated, highly geared up for what is to come.

Many have asked me why am i so enthu abotu Army etc, to them i'm like a "sticker outer", perhaps they loath my attitude towards training, perhaps they respect it, i don't know, but one thing is for sure, i'm not one who gives up easily. I will see adversity in the eye and laugh at it.

Yes, i may not be as fit as most of them, i may not run as fast or do as much pull ups, but my willingness to learn, develop and break my limits is what i feel will make me a better commander than them.

With GCC fast approaching, i'm putting more effort in trainning, trying my best to get an edge over my course-mates, so that when GCC finally arrives. I will be prepared for it.

*

Today had our first day of Underslung Operations. Basically, what it is about is as what the name suggests, Slinging cargo or vehicles under a CH-47D Chinhook helicopter or a AS-332s Super-Puma helicopter. I'm in the group that specialises with MV (Millitary Vehicle) transport. Learnt the different ways of rigging a vehicle, the ropes or eqipments used etc. It was an eye-opener to say the least.

Tommorrow we will be rigging a mini-tonner for heli-transport practise, subsequently on friday, there will be a live-task, in whihc a real chopper will be involved, most likely to be a chinhook

*

Been in the army for 9 months now, still feeling quite good about it, except for the PT part, but as i said i'm someone who never gives up, so don't expect me to. =)

There are just certain kinds of people that i cannot stand, those who like to wayang their way through, duirng lectures or discussions, they like to "porh" or "Carry" the balls of the sergeants, but behind thier backs, in the bunks, they behave differently. In front of Officers, they like to raise their voices and pretend to be in control, ordering this and that, but NEVER, i repeat, NEVER wanting to help at all. Perhaps they do in front of the enciks or officers, but when they are not around, they just walk away from the task, without a SINGLE word from their gold-laden mouths. They act big, talk big and like take credit for what they do, esp so in front of the enciks. In the end, it is always the real-working people like me and the usual few who will get our hands down and dirty to the task.

It irritates the hell out of people around them, me included. Oh well, what to do, just have to live with them i guess.

*

I sprained my right wrist last week during IPPT, right now it is getting better, thankfully, by and by, i am able to carry more loads and surprisingly, i, despite my status of 1 week excuse upperlimb and a badly sprained right wrist, still managed to complete the 5 km run, 8 km Run, 10km Run, 1 Km swim and Guards PT. They call me seow lah, but urgh i just hate sitting one corner and watch my fellow coursemates suffer. Gives me a bad feeling. Today, went back to see the MO with regards to my wrist, it still hurts a little, but it is by no means a consequence of my exertion as i am very careful during training not to injure my wrist. MO gave me another week of excuse Upper Limb. But Heck it lah, if i feel that i can participate, i will man, i hate sitting around idlily doing NOTHING.

Next week is gonna be jam-packed with activities, Underslung live task Day/night on wednesday, ET Runs, SOC, IPPT i think and lots of PT, getting us all geared up for GCC. I really do hope i pass GCC to get my Guards Khaki Beret and Guards Tab.
When i do, i will know that i truly deserve it.

*

Its time to book in gain, still no reply from her. I guess i'm gonna remain a bachelor? Hahaha, but, i must not give up so easily man...I know i have deep feelings for her, she just needs time tor ealise that, my heart melts whenever i see her or receives her messages. Oh well, let fate decide yah?

=)

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 9:25 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, September 04, 2005:.

Finally found some nice and good pictures taken

in Taiwan during my training stint there

a month ago.

*

Nothing much to elaborate on...just some captions beneath

to more or less explain what it is all about.

*

Taken just 3 days after we landed in Taiwan. On a Terrain Reading March.

To Get us familiarised with the terrain and environment we were going to

work with for the next 3 weeks. Notice the ROC uniform and especially the

Jockey Cap. We were called Starlight Troopers in taiwan.

Or, Xing Guan Bu Dui

Taken as a Platoon, before we attacked an objective.

We were walking along the river bed and as you can observe. It is riddled with huge,
super-sized pebbles. Was the section commander then. Am seated, first row, second

from left.

My dearest Platoon. Bravo Coy Platoon 1.

Taken on the day after 9 days of warrior. At Mei Ling Camp, Tai Chung, ROC.

*

Bravo 1 Platoon Commander, 2WO Jimmy Ser. Best PC ever. =)

Bravo 1 PWO, SSG Goh. =) Nice fella, caring yet firm and decisive.

*

Our Squeezy bunk conditions that resembled something taken out

of some WWII concentration camp. Here was where we spent planning

our navigational data sheets for Navex or pack our equipments for

Warrior, Longstride etc. Good experience sleeping with 40+ guys

in such squeezy conditions.

The Giant Buddha that overlooks the city of Liu Tou. It was a great help

during our Navex as it is a very prominent feature that can be spotted

from up to 3-5Km away.

*

R & R

The Lights and sounds of Xi Men Ding - Where the food is great

and the shopping - Fantabulous!

Xi Men Ding - A must see if you go Taipei.

*

A picture taken at the hotel before we departed for the Airport, for

our flight back. =)

*

If you ask me how was Taiwan, i would only say that it was very tough.

Whether do i want to go back again?

YEap, for sure, but only for the R&R..

Have to book in now. =)

See yah all.

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 9:00 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Took an online Inkblot test.

Interesting result, considering that i

do no really consider myself that imaginative.

Oh wells...

*shrugs*

"Alan, your subconscious mind is driven most by Imagination

This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level.

Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have. On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination.

With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.
Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Imagination, there is much more to who you are at your core. "

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:21 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..