<...::: Scionfire© : You're Owned! :::...>

.:Wednesday, November 30, 2005:.

Met my JC classmates just now, haha, it was a 6girls VS 2 Guys affair..haha...Clara, Aishah, Adeline, WanTing, Ruying, Khusbir, Ping Cheun and myself. We had dinner at Swensens thererafter we played some games (Daytona actually) at the Arcade....

It is apparent, that one year on, we have all become so weary of our individual occupations The meeting, was to say the least, rather slow moving and quite unliek during JC times when it would be more boisterous. Guess we have all matured? Haha, but really, wat with some of them studying in Uni and some in Poly taking Adavnced Diplomas and with Pinky and myself serving the nation, we have all grown from being students in JC to more or less young working adults.

It is also apparent how tired we all were just now, how it has taken its toll on us. For me, before i booked out today, my encik brought all the specialists on an orientation run around the camp and its surrounding area, which covered about 8++Km (2.6+++ Km in camp, 4.6+++ Km out of camp. When we came back, we had to do 30 Pull ups before we were allowed to leave.

Obviously, when i met them, i was tired.haha, but seeing them made me happy, brought back lots of memories for me. I really miss JC days.

Incidentally, CJ (my juniors in fact) were having their Grad night at Marina Mandarin, which was just directly adjacent to where i was. Somehow, though it had nohtign to do with me, i felt so excited about it. Bear in mind that some of them were in the first 3 month class that i took as a facil in 2004. Sigh, my my how time has flown by. In a blink of an eye, they have all graduated. I can still remember their fresh faces, when they streamed into CJ for the first time, now they have all graduated.

Sigh, the cycle of life..haha.

*

Was on the bus towards City Hall when i saw Jocelin Yeo win the women's swimming contest. She, standing so proudly on the Podium after clinching Gold, with the National Anthemn being broadcasted in the back ground, released a fresh influx of patriotism within me. To see the Stars and the Crescent moon rise above the other flags and in slow unison to the Mahjulah Singapura once again reassured me that SIngapore does have hope in Sports. But it is always the niche areas like Swimming, water polo and hmm....table tennis that we tend to have more hope. Soccer is still ratehr lacklustre..so is atheletics....

Oh well, Go Team Singapore

*

Sigh, been thinking about Gy for the past few days. Wonder how has she been Haven't really made the initiative to message her because i assume shes busy meeting up with her friends and all and thus, i do not want to always like, try to grab her attention. I hope shes fine..really do. Yeap......its been more than half a year, and we've not gone for the midnight movie shes promised since like her CTS earlier this year...hahaha....Oh wells....lets hope we get to go out a couple of times before she goes back to Korea in Jan...

Men will be coming in on the 9th of Dec..thankfully, most of them are born in 86 and 87..with a handful of 85 and 84...at least the age gap ain't that bad...can still assert some power of them..=)

*

Sigh......my heart feels so empty...bah, time to sleep....

Alan gagged and reeled at 12:33 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Tuesday, November 29, 2005:.

Christmassy moody mood....

Walking down orchard road alone, taking in the sights and sounds of the oncoming Christmas season, i'm transported back to a year ago when i found myself in exactly the same position i was just now - walking down the same stretch of pavement alone. haha.

Its funny, how life tends to tease you with little idiosyncracies that only makes you remember how dumb and stupid one was a year before, and how much one has grown. Then i was still smarting from a broken heart, it could not have been must worse as just now, when i took that long lonely stretch down towards Wisma Atria again.

A year on, the sights have changed, Wisma is now a bustling hub of activity, the lights, blinding and the sounds, deafening. But the silent echoes in my heart tends to overpower me with a deep sense of longing and regret.

*

This post, taken off my archives proves my point of how my year has been a rather interesting reflection of last year

"As i wandered aimlessly down the brightly litted lanes of

Orchard road, memories of past years beckon me into a somber mood.

Of how we used to hold eachother's hand and admired the bright lights,

held eachother close as we strolled along in the cool Christmas night....

.
.
.
.
.

......The bright lights may shine down upon my wasted heart, but it does not help

in brightening my mood.

The sights and sounds may resonate in my ears,

but it cannot fill the empty void you left behind.

The warm, glowing Yuletide spirit that radiates from everyone,

does not help to warm the coldness of my heart......"

- 23rd December 2004

*

Haha, interesting...it speaks what i wish to say, i feel the emptiness inside of me, it just eats me inside out. Everywhere i turn, i see happy couples enjoying eachother's embrace and company, all i want for christmas this year,....aren't present that are tangible ( though a PSP will be nice....yea..haha) but rather, to be in the company of the person that i love, just to have fun, walk down the brightly litted pavements, take in the sounds, enjoy the breeze, the cool night Christmas air, perhaps with an ice-cream in hand, relish in the act of enjoy what is bliss together.

To be able to snuggle up close and warm with the one i love, is something that has eluded me for quite a while now, what with the army keeping me busy 99% of the time and well, just being suay not to be able to find one. To commit now, i know, is a foolish act as i know time will not be on my side, especially more so as i intend to sign on in the army next year, it will be much worse, but, i do pray for miracles to happen.

As i was sitting inside Cine watching the big screen braodcasting the trailers, i just kept praying that i'll meet someone i know, who will relieve me, even for that brief moment, of that maiming solitude that surrounds me. Funny, while sitting there, time passed so slowly, it was almost surreal how everything seemed to slow down.

But alas, i was not as lucky, didn't see anybody i know, and so there i was, chin in my palms, elbows resting on the big table and feet swinging in the air, just enjoying the trailers as best as i could in a futile attempt to forget my solitude.

What struck me more was when i left cine, to see the beautiful streamer lights hang from the trees, the gigantic Christmas trees and the constant playing of Christmas songs, all served to bring back memories for me.

"Dear, do you want to go see the lights with me next week?"

"Ok! Lets go...want to watch a movie as well?"

An example of how we would use to talk...it was really beautiful, as in, the feeling of it all, to enjoy what is most precious to you - time, with the one you love and to enjoy it in the best way possible.

So to all my friends who are attached right now, take this chance and savour every single moment you can with your significant other, for when he/she is gone, you'll never know when you'll ever have the chance to experience it again.

Looks like this Christmas is gonna be another lonesome day by my small christmas tree. =)

Haha.

Oh well, take care everyone...

Alan gagged and reeled at 12:15 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Monday, November 28, 2005:.

Hmmm

I've come to realise that i'm actually quite the loner.

My HP never rings, unless it is a call from my dad (which in fact makes up for 75% of all my received calls)...or the camp...MSN windows...well..sometimes never pop up at all. Its sad actually, to know that you have so many friends, yet you still feel lonely because of that. Yes, it is true that i have alot of friends, but they are mere surface friends, very much like normal "hi-bye" kind of people you meet in your life. No doubt i do have a handful of friends who really know me and understand me. People like Reynn and Desmond make up this few. But sometimes, one just wishes that your life can be more interesting other than just staring at an empty HP screen all the time.

Why not i msg then? Yah, i do...i do all the time...but. You get sick of it after a while, you'll start to think "Why can't they msg first? Why always me first?" not that it should ever be an issue or come across your mind, but seriosuly, i feel damn lonely sometimes. Esp in camp at night...when i really really really want to msg gy to wish her goodnight etc...knowing that a reply to reciprocate the care might not come back, really turns one off you know. For a fact, you also realise that sometimes, however close friends are, there must be a line drawn, if possible, i wanna do it EVERYNIGHT. But seriously speaking, who won't get sick of it? The sender and the receiver will get sick of it after a while. Very soon, such msges written with thought, care and love to some extent, gets seen as one of those normal msges, its importance and sincerity downplayed by the fact of being too accustomed to it.

*

A typical Gemini is what i am, a two-sided, dynamic individual who has two very different sides to him. One of quick wit, undying dynamism, boisterous, loud and totally like a bull in a china shop, another, quiet...solemn...deep-thinking...pessimistic...I'm typical of this kind of behaviour...so with this, you can in fact analyse my character trait by observing my posts. it ranges from the extremely moody and solemn, to the outrageously dumb and witty...sigh..

*

Emotional Escapism...A Houdini of the heart....

_{I'm actually trying to escape the from the real problem. Its been almost a year now, yet, i've never had the courage to confess to her staright in the face. Always not wanting to make the move because i didn't feel that it was correct or right of me to do so. I have my morals, i have my principals and i have my values to uphold. Yet, at what cost? All these gave me a ticket to board a roller-coaster. A roller-coaster that brought me to the highest points in this year, and also to the lowest depths. Of course, at times, i chose to take a break from it all and just sit out the ride But always without fail, i'll feel tempted to want to experience that rush of the heart going thump-thump-thump, having to try and calm yourself down, because you feel so nervous, having to think of some lame jokes at the back of your mind to entertain. It was all part of a facade, to hide my true feelings. I just wanted to be there, not wanting anything else. IF you ran into problems, i wanted to be able to help you out and advise, and not see you sad and down.

I'm truly amazed at how it has come full circle, from the one sitting in the ride, to the one observing. It has somehow reflected my own situation. Having to see you endure the pains for justifying your actions. Though it may hurt terribly, yet you still have to grit your teeth and accept the fact so that you can answer to your own conscience, values and principles....

*

The sacrifices i've made, aren't by virtue of my greed or desire, but by a sincere wish that you will be happy, that one day, you will find the person you truly deserve and desire. Yes, at times i question myself why do i subject myself to all these, but why can't I? I started out knowing that it was gonna be hard and almost impossible, but, somehow, somewhere, deep within me, it really is quite hard to have to walk away from it all. I can't simply turn around and run away the opposite direction as and when i choose to, for the simple reason that it is just too hard to do so.

I've always hoped for the best for you. When you cried on the bus earlier this year, i felt absolutely helpless, i had no tissue paper to offer, only my lame jokes, in a desperate bid to make you smile and feel better. When you told me that you felt nobody loved you, i bit my lips, "Why do you think like that? How can that be true??" was all i could think. Perhaps i'm a coward, perhaps i'm just not ready, perhaps, i just want to see you happy, but am not sure if i can ever make you happy the way you should be. Perhaps it was because i hurt you once before and feel guilty about it. But i cannot bring myself to turn away. I feel so attracted to you.

I've always commited myself to the friendship we share, because to me, it is a special one, a treasured one and boy am i grateful for it, to be given a second chance to redeem my past incompetencies and failures. I vowed never to hurt you the way i did. But it seems now......the tables have turned against me.

You never know, but a single call or message from you brightens up my day almost instantly....Its like Maggi noodles, simple, quick mood-lifter...>_<

I'm tired, very tired. i want to sleep now...

Oyasumi everyone....}

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:04 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, November 27, 2005:.

LIKE FINALLLLLLYYYYYYYY CAN?!?!?!.........................

i can go online in the comforts (i assure you, its an euphemism) of my own room (like finally toooo!!!!!)

I got so sick of not being able to go online or having to accommodate to my dad's reluctance to allow me to use his laptop to go online, so much so that i just dug out the CPU. grabbed any monitor lying on the floor, grabbed my IR keybioard and mouse, then just set up my comp in the middle of my room......and on the floor....wahaha
_{Presenting, the Speaker, the Midnight Snack, the monitor and the CPU.....what a happy family!!!

Yay, my comp is alive! Its ALIVE!!!}

I'm gratified and very much pleased thank you very much, albeit the shuffling and the noise generated during the great move did heap on some unwanted attention from Mr. Phua Senior. But indeed, I'm very much gratified!!!

*

So many things have happened over the past few weeks that i want to blog about but i don't think i'll have the time to do so. Things have been rather hectic and to put simply pure hell ever since GCC ended.

With all that house and camp shifting hitting me left, right, center, up, down, left diagonal, right diagonal, i've barely had the time to breathe and recompose myself.

*

Post GCC Alan PTM

Anyway after GCC, i was posted to Alpha Company, as a PS (Platoon Sergeant)-to-be, thence, i will be going for my PS course at the brand new SISPEC at PLC from the 27th of Dec till the 2nd of Feb. Yeap yeap, quite excited about it as i will be the first batch of PS to pass out from the new compound. =) Super ROX..

Alpha COy i'll say will be a very integrated and brotherly coy, all the Sect. Commanders are commited to make it one, to uphold the Alpha RAWDY Brotherhood name set forth by the previous mono. For my platoon, i'll make sure it is upheld and everyone sees each\ and everyone as brothers in arms and not just fellow soldiers.

Just shifted to Bedok camp yesterday and all i can say is that the place has to be the worst ever camp condition there is in the SAF. Everything about the camp is run downed, the toilet bowls have stains that i guess has been there for eons and eons...those brown mucky stains that reside at the bottom of the bbowls and urinals aren't exactly a very comforting sight to behold especially so when you know you'll have to stay in this camp for the next year or so. Even worse for my men who will be coming in on the 9th of Dec for PTP/BMT.

In addition, the bunks, though well-ventilated are actually human death traps. Some of the wooden window frames are rotten and very much moist and soft to the touch. A sure sign of water leakage.

Some walls are chipped, others i believe, have seen better days...sigh, they told us they were gonna renovate the camp.

A whole lot of bullock i'ld say, its beyond repair lah. 1 GDS should have just stayed put in Dieppe. Its very much in better condion that in Bedok, not to mention that it is just a 10-min walk away from my house. Bedok Camp is about an hour bus ride away.

DAMMNED!

*

My new house is still very much in a huge mess with all the things just suddenly thrown to us like a thunderstorm. Its pure misery having to walk around now..the things lying everywhere is like TV Mobile......they're EVERYWHERE.....OMG...

_{OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The sullen look on my face says it all...OH MY GOD!!!!!!}

This is basically what my house looks like now when u first enter though the front door...scary isn't it...yea, it freaks the living daylights out of me!

OH MY GOD!!!!

*

My Room

Ok, first things first, the few pictures you're gonna see of my room isn't exactly the final product yet as i'm still in the midst of shifting and packing my stuffs properly, but you can be pretty much be sure that this is how it will look like in the end. For me, my theme is to keep my room as open and as uncluttered as possible.

SOMETHING, unfortunately is impossible at this time as my hall is still in a major earthquake-like territory (refer to pics above). So i can expect more things to appear inside. I get a shock everytime i book out from camp, everytime i enter my room i'm bound to see something totally unrelated to my room appear!!

Lol, like this monitor i'm currently using, its my dad's but due to the lack of space, it somehow is well....in my room. Lol

_{The nicer, uncluttered side of my room, to the right will be piles of boxes. *Note: See the Dolphin tail sticking out? Its actually the base of a glass coffee table that is supposed to be in the hall! (L-R) : My bed, my side table, my CD rack, my Table.

Behind this smiling bozo are boxes..that contains things which aren't exactly his.

A closer view of my table with my Retro CD Juke Box. It rocks! the lights are beautiful can?!?! Haha...

My bed that actually really is a sofa bed. It is multi-role k, it can be flat bed as it is now, a lounge chair with the back raised up, or a seat, with the bottom portion and top portion folded...its from IKEA and it ROX. The side table is also from IKEA.....

My CD rack with my beret, my favourite Pig toy and the little air freshener thingy i bought at Thomson plaza...Woot.}

Sigh, it will take a while before my room really settles down. As of now, i'm still lacking my photo frames to hang, my curtains and of course, my pin-up board that i'm so gonna use extensively next time. I also have a tiny whitboard i use to write my emotions and expressions on...this is what i wrote two days back.

Hahahaha.....

I guess thats all for now......i'm quite spent..hahaha. Wootwootwootwoot!!! BAH BAH black sheeps! Mary had little lambs and Old Mac Donald has a farm with a London Bridge that is falling down while the itsy bitsy spider climbs the metal sprout, down came the rain and washed rudolf the red nose reindeer had a very bright red nose, cause Santa claus is coming to town, oh holy night!

Its the season to be jolly cause Santa said so!!

*

I've gone konkers....help me!!!!!

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 3:58 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

The culmination of my blood, sweat, tears and perseverance

Getting Merit trainee was really quite a surprise for me as i thought they'll only present it to people who previously got the Silver Bayonet in SISPEC. Imagine my shock amalgated with a slight tinge of happiness when my name was announced as Merit Trainee.

To me, i saw it as my redemption as i lost my Silver Bayonet in SISPEC to some people who thoroughly did not deserve it. It caused some controversy at some point in time during the GCC when people started commenting that some of the Silver Bayonet people weren't deserving of their award since most of them weren't performing up to the standards they are perceived to perform at.

I kept quiet, i kept silent and just chose to ignore those comments and cointinue to do my best in the GCC. I won't say that i was as fanatical as i was in SISPEC to be the best, but during GCC, i relaxed alot more and perhaps performed better i guess. My Physical fitness is still my downside though. I MUST get it settled out quickly if i were to make a good impression on my men come 9th DEC.

When my name was announced, i was shocked, since as i said, i really did not expect to get it, expecting instead for it to be given to either a super-fit guy or a silver bayonet trainee, maybe even a regular. Deep down i was happy and relieved, that finally after 6 months, i've gain recognition for my hardwork and tenacity....to bite my lip and tongue when the going got tough, to keep on running though i know i couldn't take it anymore and to never give up, even in the face of extreme hardships. It has paid off reasonably well, i am satisfied, i am contented.

My struggle to enter OCS since day 1 of SISPEC now all seems quite justified as it had given me the onus to always perform to the best of my abilities. This is not the end of it, i will still be expected to give my best, even more so now that people recognise the award that i hold, even more so now that i've proven my worth, even more so now that i'm a PS to be as well.

Oh well, here are some pictures i took of my pride and Honour..

_{The wooden case that the medallion is kept in..Did i also mention that i'm a Marksman? Top shooter for 02/05 GCC. =)

very much my precioussssssssss.

Inscribed:

***

1st Battalion Singapore Guards

Presented to

3SG Alan Phua

Merit Graduate

02/05 Guards Conversion Course

***

Closer look at the medallion..It is made of Pewter...

The whole package....=D}

*

Apart from the obvious little bragging rights that comes with this award, i see it in a more practical light - for me to make a better case to sign on as an Officer in the Guards Formation. Yeap, that is still very much my aim and goal for next year. I will hopefully be able to sign on as an Officer, go OCS, hopefully be abl;e to go Sandhurst as well and finally, serve the Guards Formation as an Officer. but if that should ever be the case, i will not forget my roots as a specialist and will giev due recognition and pride to my Specs under me, should i ever get the chance to be an Officer that is.

As of now, I will still do my best regardless of the situation, i'm always ready, READY to STRIKE when the situation calls for it!

"...Always Ready! READY TO STRIKE!!!..."

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 2:52 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Wednesday, November 16, 2005:.

02/05 Guards Conversion Course

Oh well, been very busy shifting house and decorating my own room. Finally, i can decorate it however i wish it to be. I paid for all mu furniture (less the ones that were from the old house). Its simply wondeful i tell you. Simplistic in nature, lots of wood and very refreshing. I luuuuurve it. =P I'll post a picture up on my blog once i doll up and finalise my room. Its still slightly cluttered with boxes as i'm still moving in.

*

Alright, on Saturday morning, i finally passed out from my Guards Conversion Course. That of ocurse, makes me a qualified Guardsman, worthy of wearing the Guards Tab and the Khaki Beret. I've worked hard for it, as much as my other comrades have, we've al teared for it, bled for it and as a reward, we have been bestowed witht eh Pride and Honour that comes with wearing the distinctive Khaki Beret. But the Beret is not without its hardships and torture. We were literally thrown in to the cauldron of fire during our summex.

Our summex consisted of two parts, one phase in Singapore, while the other in Tekong. What made the summex particularly tough was the obvious sleep deprivation. and the long route marfches that comes along with each mission.

I present to you, a chrnological breakdown of how my summex went.

*

Monday 071105

D-Day H-Hour 071730Hrs.

After spending the whole morning and afternoon doing our Battle Prep, drawing stores, weapon maintenance and packing of our field packs, we set off from Coy Line toward the MPH whereby 3 tonner were waiting for us to load up. One last final check t0 ensure that everything was good 2 go. Off we went! to a week outfield on our Summex!

We were trooplifted to the landing site whereby we will transit to take a CH47-D Chinnook helicopter to heli-insert into the area of Opearations which was in lim Chu Kang. At about 2030 Hours, the first wave of Chinnooks arrived and being in the first stick, my platoonw as the first to go. Loaded up the chinnook and flew off from yishun Ave 7 towards Lim Chu Kang, by then , it was already dark.

Once on ground, we re-orged and waited from the entire company to join us in 2 other waves. Thereafter, in the deads of the night, we walked through the night from 2100 till 0530 the next mornign to our next objective in FBO with Platoon Estab (i.e : With MG and 84mm RR sections). The first thing whihc hits you i the sheer amount of weight that you carry in your field pack, the next being the obvious sleep deprivation. By the time we struck our first objective, most of us haven't slept fro 24 hours already.

Bashing through the jungles and occasioanlly walking on the track, i had to fight off fatigue, sleep weariness and utter hallucinations to continue walking in the hazardous jungle. Being in total darkness, sharp logs or branches lurk at every corner, ready to trip and seriouly hurt you. I was unfortunate enough to slip and fall 2 times on soft, slippery grounds.

Finally at 0530, after nearly walking for 9 hours straight, we attacked out first objective - a platoon dawn deliberate attack which involves deliberate breaching and the whole platoon over-running an enemy knoll.

MIssion Completed.

080700 HRS.

Mission 2 - Frag-O was given and we had to do a quick attack on another objective. With a quick re-org and rest period, we quickly redistrbuted ammunitions and tok our lunch. Some took this opportunity to catch up on some sleep before we struck the next objeuctive.

Was appointed the ACSM (Assistant Company Sergeant Major - the highest appointment a Spec can get in GCC) HAd to organise the all-roudn defence and oversee the battle prep of the tropops before the H-hour of the next mission which was after lunch.

Marched towards next objective in SBO this time. Attack was done quite smoothly, captured objective in no time at all. After that, we were required to do a hasty defence i.e: dig shellscrpes and sicne i was in the MG team for the next mission, i had to dig an MG trench whihc was 3 shellscrapes dug side by side. Enemy came at nihht, attacked our base and literally over-ran us. Got f-ed, packed up and left for Tekong the next morning.

091030 HRS.

At TFT, we had our chance to breifly sleep for awhile. In the 3 days we have been outfield, most of us slept only a little more than 30 minutes. Haviung to constantly be on stand-to and on missions, gace us little or no chance to sleep properly. By this time, my water bottles had run-out and was desperately short of water. NBut i had to keep moving on as i did not want to fall out. I had to complete my task and i had to accomplish it no matter what it took.

091200Hrs

Reached Tekong and set up the Platoon operating BAse as part of our Summex for OOTW. Snadbags had to be filled, Singas (Watch Towers) had to be constructed, and being in the MG team, i had to keep watch at all times. I was the MG commander and together with my men, we were on a 24 hour rotational watch duty. Which meant even lesser sleep for us.

Wednesday night was the worst as we experienced alot of turn outs and ene,my harrassment. Caught little sleep, barely only about 45 minutes.

Thursday was slightly much better. still on Singa Duty.

Thursday night was the best, after nearly two days of no missions, i could finally go out and find soem action. Was involved in a section patrol. Due to enemy movement spotted in our area, what originated as a blue patrol transited to that of a Green patrol (i.e: Hostiles expeted). Had to set up an ambush, failed to meet the H-Hour so the aabush site was changed to another location. Ambush successful. Afterwhich we had to casevac back to POB for about 1 Km ++.

Packed up the POB and prepared for the next day's mission.

- Cordon and Search.

Was Platoon Sergenat. It was messy as what happened was totally different from what was planned out. Either, lots of men were lost or what began peacefully ended up like a typical FIBUA session. Lots of shouting, shooting and killing. My PC died, so i had to take over. Successfully completed my mission, although a section of my men died due to some explosives that detonated while they were searching the room.

*

Once completed, we prepared for our next mission whihc was to be the final one - To attack 7 knolls continuously.

The format was simpel enough, it will be a staggered Coy attack I.e: Plt 5 will attack knoll 1 while Plt 6 attacked knoll 2, then Plt 5 attack knoll 3....etc.

After the 7th Knoll was attack and successfully over-runned. 2 casualkties were declared and we had to casevac them all the wy back to TFT to catch our ferry back to mainland. In all it was about 6-8 Km, with more casualtiues declared along the way. Once we finally reached the Ferry Terminal,m alot of people simply collapsed from exhaustion. 2 friends of mine were even sent to the Med. Center.

We thought it was the ned of it all.....we thought that our parade would be on Monday, we thought that after that we could all go back camp and enjoy a good-night sleep

oH.........HOW WRONG COULD WEVER BE.......

Back at SFT, after checkikng stores, we laoded up the tonner and left at about 0100HRS for Dieppe (supposedly). But after barely travelling about 10 minutes, the tonners suddenly stopped along the long strech of road beside Changi Airport...

One of the Cadres shouted....

"Everybody out of the tonners! Grab all your equipments and everything you need and go into the vegetation!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!

Most of us expected it, but weren't that convicned since during AAR, Staff Ivan did tell us the parade was on Monday instead. So though we got wind of it, we sort of thought it was cancelled.

Was made Platoon Sergeant by my Coy OC and briefed on the mission. It was supposedly our 8th mission whereby we had to march almost 20Km to Bedok Camp in FBO to set up a POB.

After recovering from the inital shock and disappointment from not being able to sleep peacefully in camp. I got my act together and readied the platoon. Making sure that all the bottles were filled and that their equipments were properly secured.

When we finallly concluded another round of marching through the night, we attened our own little POP parade. It wasn't anything fancy, no crowds, no big fanfares, just a simple ceremony to don our Berets, pin on our Tabs and say the Guarsd Creed. After that we were treated to a grrrrreat Breakfast in our new Camp. i received my Medal for being the Merit Trainee of the course. A happy moment for me indeed. =)

Finally loaded up the tonner and headed back to camp...this time, we all slept peacefully back....no more worries of marching, turnouts, etc..just...undisturbed sleep back to camp with our new berets and tab.

I'm proud my mates and i did it. We stuck together and completed the course together. We did not yield when obstacles were thrown in our faces, we simply sucked it up and spit it back out. We saw each glimmer of light as hope to continue moving on to our objective, towartds our eternal pride and honour, towards our Khaki Beret. Many times, i felt that ic ouldn't make it anymore, i was tired, physically and mentally exhausted, but i held on, held on not bcause of my pride or my will to get my beret, held on because my mates as much as the rest fo us, expected each and everyoine of ourselves to pass out and get the beret. Each and evewryone of us expected the same from everyione else - to never yield and to complete each given task.

Yes, the march was long and arduous, the blisters on the feet - pain like you've never experienced before.

But it all disappeared the moment we donned our Berets, the moment the tab was slapped onto our shoulders, together with our Chevrons, this two symbolises the hardships and pain each trainee went through to be where they are now.

I'm proud of my achievements but am more proud of people that have proven themselves to be of calibre and stature. Lennard, though i know u'll never read this, but i cannot express how PROUD and GLAD i am that you are finally a Guards Commander. You have proven your worth to me and the rest of us who have alot of faith in you.

You need to believe in yourself if you wish to achieve what you believe you are capable of.

*

_{The Distinctive Khaki Beret, Guards Tab and my Chevrons

I'm a 1 Bn Singapore Guards Commander. READY TO STRIKE!}

*

The Guards Creed

WE are GUARDSMAN WARRIORS.
Resolute in loyalty, Steadfast in commitment.
We fight for our country, our Homes and our Families.

Land warriors from Air and Sea,
Unfailing in Toughness,
Valiant in our Actions.
We destroy all foes who challeng our Mission.

We are ELITE warriors,
With Daring Initiative,
We Rule the Day,
We Rule the Night!
ALWAYS READY!
READY TO STRIKE!!

*

Roger....over and out.

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Alan gagged and reeled at 3:47 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, November 13, 2005:.

Yay, passed out from GCC already loh. Surprisingly, this 6 weeks passed rather quickly. Perhaps its because i've been in the service for quites ometime already.

Received my Khaki Beret, guards Tab and quite surprisingly, i finally got my "Silver Bayonet" of sorts. Yeap, i was Merit Trainee for GCC. I.e: Second Best trrainee.. =)

Obviously, the Best went to a Regular. Its kinda expected. =P

Am quite happy about my achievment, i may not get my Silver Bayonet in SISPEC, but i got my best Trainee in guards, which is something i feel, worths more than in SISPEC.

Surpisingly, none of the Merit or Best Trainees were Silver Bayonets in SISPEC. Lol...

Gotta ciao now. Shifting house for good. I slept in my new room yesterday!!

Woot.

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Alan gagged and reeled at 12:37 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Sunday, November 06, 2005:.

One more hour till i have to be in camp.

I feel absolutely shitty..._{!!sleef ehs woh wonk ot deen i !!!hcum os os reh ssim i.}

ARGH!

*

I must maintain my integrity and pragmatism...i must....

SUMMEX, here i come!!!!!

*

Book in loh!!!

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Alan gagged and reeled at 9:37 PM
2 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

SUMMEX is looming over me like an ominous shadow that drapes my path

Sian man, its the pre-book in feeling again. Its sinking in. Its not that i do not like booking in I like it sometimes cause everyweek is a new learning experience for me. But truth be told. I'm actually quite scared......

SCARED? U say? Why should i be scared? Its not as if i've never had outfield before. Yea, i know...i've been through 9 days in Taiwan, surviving what can possibly be the worst weather for outfield. But i'm scared because i'm worried that i might not be able to take the physical demands of the summex. Its not going to be easy. But nonetheless, i'll still do my best.

*

ANYWAY, after many months of deliberation, i've decided to add comments to my posts So instead of waiting for comments on my tag board, i can now directly access any comments to my posts So please, feel free to post any comments or watsoeva. I really hope to hear from you all my counter jumps by about 30+ plus every time i book out when i check my account. I'm really curious to know what you guys think.

*

My tag board will still be around as i see no need to remove it. So yea....do post some comments k.

*

Witnessed a very nice sunset from my room. I guess this will be just about one of the last few times i'll ever get to witness it as i'll be shifting house come next saturday..so yea..

_{Nice...isn't it?}

Anyway, since 2SG Sadali is posting out, he began selling some of his old army equipment, and i bought this pair of Combat Goggles from him for $5 for which will normally cost about $20++ outside..Quite a good deal i must add....its comfy too!

I also bought a water bag carrier from him for only $2...it has the 1 Guards crest embroided in gold on it...Yummy....=P

*

Maybe i'll blog just before i go back to camp...sigh..oh well......On another note..

I wish all my friends (you especially) and juniors who are taking the A Levels next week (includes friends taking their Uni exams) the BESTEST, BESTEST, BESTEST luck in the whole wide world! ALL THE BEST dudes!~!~!~!~!

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Alan gagged and reeled at 7:47 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Just woke up...yawnz..i cannot afford myself to sleep too much as i'll be bookin gin tonight for summex tomorrow.

Ahh....not enough time~~

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 9:15 AM
1 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Saturday, November 05, 2005:.

Alan is absolutely tired out. He attempted the guards Assault Course today and it has totally drained him out of every single ounce of energy left within this lifeless body of his.

His shoulders are bruised, his back is hurting but his spirit has never been any higher. This absolutely mentally and physically challenging course has augmented his level of mental firewall. It has given him the strength and power to overcome his weakness, though it may still be a weak link to the group.

However, through this, it has shown evidently that Alan is willing ever more so to try his best, even if it means at the expense of his physical being.

Another obstacle lies ahead of him, that of his Summary Exercise that will further challenge and push his limits. Make no mistake about it, it isn't something that he has never done before. Outfield is afterall, only second nature to him.

However, to overcome his physical limits, no matter how daunting or impossible it may seem. It is only with his sheer mental strength that he will once again emerge triumphant - not within the group, but of his own personal, individual standards that he has set for himself.

It will not be easy, it will not be anything like he has ever done before, but make no mistake, he will triumph, he will exceed, he will excel and he will overcome. He will once again revisit his old enemy, find it, analyse it and ultimately BREAK it.

Make no mistake about that.

Labels: NS

Alan gagged and reeled at 8:16 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Thursday, November 03, 2005:.

Sian ah sian ah sian ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Booking in soon...though i'll get to book out on saturday, but the fact that i have to book in soon just makes me all sad and down...i dun wanna book in. I just want to stay at home, relax, enjoy the night....

*

=( I miss her, i really do...but there is nothing that i can do. I'm not supposed to have feelings for her. I promised myself. It will be totally platonic...but...

It tears me up inside!!

*

Ah fark it.

Book in loh.

Alan gagged and reeled at 10:02 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Did a series of interesting quizzes....some were plain -_-".....hahaha

*

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Quite true eh!!! =)

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Quite true...quite true!

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.

Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.

You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.

Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.

For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

WOW!!! *Blushes...this ish sho true~~*

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Haha, interesting...

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

True!!!!

*

Thats about it i guess. =)

Alan gagged and reeled at 11:51 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

Watched All about Love today...no....not alone this time. But with Desmond! Woot. First time in don't know how many movies i watched with a friend can? Hahaha.

Deep, emotional, touching and poignant. Wonderful, simply wonderful....

First of all, i must say that this show is EXTREMELY superb. Its poignant, sad, yet movingly sweet as well. Yes, the show ended on a sad note, but, the fact that the love of Andy's character for his deceased wife is so deep that you actually feel for him alot. Its very deep, melacholic, poignant and deeply emotional. I bet tears will start welling up nearing the end of the show, when Andy reads a note left being by Charlie young's character when she had already passed on Its so touching! I declare, with utmost certainty and conviction that this is a MUST WATCH for everyone who is looking for a good movie to watch. It will not disappoint!!! I PROMISE!! Overall, i give it 4.5/5 stars!!

Don't forget to watch it!!

*

After the movie, Des and i went to Wisma to eat at the new food court called Food Republic. I won't say that its a food-court per-say considering that there are restaurants in there as well. But the whoie place rocks! Think of it as Marche Singapore style. Individual food-court stalls, but all stalls adhere to the theme of 60's singapore. U really have to be there to experince it for yourself. Its a great refreshing change from the typical Food-court decor. This ACTUALLY has a theme!! The stall holders all wear funky looking straw hats and there are banana leaves, old push carts, coconuts, old signboards and old, dated decor to add flavour and spice up the place...Apparently, it is opened by Breadtalk thence the creative theme to it. =)

The food sold there are all runned by famous stalls in Singapore, most of them have AT LEAST one famous dish that they can be proud of. I tried the Beef noodles. It was good, the beef noodle gravy remained thick and sticky -the way it should, all the way till i totally cleaned off the bowl. Most beef noodle stalls use cheap starch that soon turns watery once it cools, but not the stall i tried (Wah Eng Beef Noodles). The fact that it remained sticky and colloidal suggested that they didn't cut corners on the starch. Good quality indeed. =)

*

After that i messaged gy, i knew she was still studying at Changi, so i decided to drop by to keep her company. Didn't feel comfortable about her studying alone and going home alone as well. So yea, bought some cookies and zipped down there. =)

She looked pale and stressed, not to mention tired and obviously exhausted. My heart dropped when is saw her pale face. Thank God the paleness went away soon after we left the place. =) So yea, had some crazy time on the bus, singing and dancing with wild abandon. =) I'm glad i managed to ease away some of her stress and all. =)

_{On the bus while sending her home....}

*

Yeap, all the best for your A levels k gurl? I know you can do it. =) You just have to believe in yourself and surge forth into it head on, nevermind if you clash with obstacles, the thing is to never give up. Because Victory isn't about how well you fair, but it is about your refusal to fail.

*

Fun day, tomorrow booking in...Saturday will have the guards Assault Course, then next week, it will be a whole week of Summex. =)

All the best Alan!

Buai buai!!

Alan gagged and reeled at 1:20 AM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..

.:Tuesday, November 01, 2005:.

AHHHH.................

Quick update on my GCC : 3 weeks down, 3 more to go!!!!!!

DANG!!! I have ABSOLUTELY no F-ing mood to blog anymore. I typed a friggin long entry about my week but the stupid IE had to HANG! IT HUNG ON ME! I lost my posts! KNNCCB!

URGH URGH URGH! I'm just gonna hang myself lah.

Ok, I will type it out again once I’ve cooled down. Anyway, low down on my week

tired, uninspired, lonely?

I watched two movies yesterday, back to back, M.A.I.D and Flightplan.

Both were quite disappointing to say the least actually.

I don't think its supposed to stand for Mission Almost Impossible Done, but rather Morbidly.Aching.Incredibly.DUMB. Don't waste your time.....

Maid sucked real badly, (i'm serious on this) it was unfunny, it was dumb and a total waste of money and time. I give it 2/5 stars….serious…don’t waste your money. You’ll be better off watching Gilgi or something.

As for Flightplan, I liked the movie alot until just about the third quarter when the plot started to unfold. Suddenly, all the suspense and tight plots began to unravel rather clumsily and the show just suddenly lost its lustre and appeal. What a let down. I constantly gritted my teeth when the whole tightness of it began to loosely drop off one by one. Gripping my coke, I could not hide my disappointment at how uninteresting the ending could possibly have been. Come on! throw in some supernatural-alternate-realm-thinga-ma-jig to spruce up the level to another level lah. BAH.

3.5/5 stars 1/5 for the stupid ending. But 3/5 for the initial plot.

On another note, i watched The 40 year-old virgin last week. All i can is that its a classic! its so tummy-achingly funny, albeit slapstick. But the point is, it does deal with REAL issues and isn't afraid to showcase the embaressment and social insecurity such people face in their lives! I persoanlly like the part whereby the main character went for a waxing session to get rid of his chest hairs. Within that 10 minute scene, i laughed so hard i was literally jumping up and down in my seat. i didn't care if the people around me were watching me, i just laughed as hard as i could! (They too were laughing equally as hard actually). Haha, the most memorable scene? The scene whereby he had his nipple hair waxed off. His screams of "OHHHHH....!!!! NIIIIPPPPLLLLEEEEE-F**KKKKK!!!!!!!!! just threw me off!. It must be painful for the actor as i bet he ACTUALLY had the waxing session done! Its as real as it gets!! The tears in his eyes, that rupturing pain as the hair follicles are ripped from the serene confinments of the
derma layer. lol!

I give it 4/5 stars!!! watch it if you haven't already!!

*

Watched alone as usual lah. No life? YOU BETCHA. No one is free, no one wants to watch with me. All having A Levels. Frig! Army Buddies?! Nah, I see them for the whole week for crying out loud~!~!

*

You might find the song playing sounding rather familiar now as, having watched 2 movie in a day, i cannot help but notice the Chicken Little advert which told you to switch off your Phone. its so cute. I've searched high and low for the clip and i've found it! But its in Spanish though, HOWEVER, the dance and all is still the same!

_{*Please pause the music clip first before playing the clip*}

_{Click to play!}

In case you're wondering, the song is called "Dragostea Din Tei" but as for the meaning? I dunno yet.

OPENS DEC 1st!

i'm looking for people to watch it with! Tell me if you're interested!

*

Anyway I got back some pictures from Sheryl and Rena when I met them and the rest last last last week I think. During CeeJay Open house.

_{Taken outside the brand new CJ Gym that overlooks the field. Fantabulous!

Inside Aaron’s Brand new Toyota Corolla with Des, Rena and Gary. On our way to lunch at Toa Payoh.

The class of 2000 (albeit only 1/4 of it)
Front (L-R) : Charlotte, Shalini, Me, Vincent, Zheng Jie
Back (L-R) : Christine, Kumi, Janice, ZiYan, Sohail
We went to Marina Bay for BBQ. =) Yum!

Shalini and Myself.

Notice that all of us have at least something covering our faces. Vincent has smoke covering his..lol. Its just too coincidentally funny!

Ziyan, Sheryl, Vincent and Myself!

Watch me devour my morsel of chicken..

Vincent cuaght by surprise and ZJ, quirky as usual...miss those Sec two tiems man...

Whats with girls and taking photos of the shoes placed in a star formation? I dun get it. Do you?? Ok, mine ain't the hairy one, its the one with the shoe and jeans..sheesh, like it matters. Lol.}

*

Ok, what started out to be a short post ended up liek that A long and tedious one...Oh well.

ANYWAY, still shifting house, will officially shift over by the end of next next week. =)

Hmm, thats about it i guess...when i have the mood, i might just blog about my ECH and Beach trainings. Perhaps not...ah well. See how.

*

Ciiao~!~!

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Alan gagged and reeled at 5:33 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..