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I Think in life, things happen for a reason. Like how pieces of a puzzle fit into place to give you a picture that is worth a thousand words. But to get there,you'll need persistence, tenacity and above all, hope that at the end of the long arduos Journey, your reward will be justified. Like a puzzle, this year has been one of waiting and perservering.
I started out with the puzzle box, the end product shown to you in all its full glory. You envision it hanging by your room, being proud about it and wanting to show it off to your friends. That was in bmt, where i envisioned myself as an officer by the end of the year, maybe even in overseas training like how my brother did. I carefully unwrapped the box from its wrapping and slowly began piecing it together, one by one, till i formed what i tought was the vague outcome of my aspiration.
Then the heartbreak of my puzzle journey, as it began to shatter unwittingly, crashing to the ground, the pieces flew everywhere and all that i was left with were remnants of what was to be my dreams and hope for the year. I cried, i struggled and i fought. But i held on, slowly, one by one, i picked up the pieces, going to places that i never knew existed to find some remnants of the puzzle and in the mean time, some remnants of a new me as well.
I persevered, i stayed tenacious, i became stubborn. I wanted to complete the puzzle, i had to, i wanted to. I wanted to have my puzzle the way it was, the way its supposed to be, all done up majestically and hung up high on my wall. But it was not to be, for along the way, the puzzle shattered a couple of times and i had to once again.....pick up the pieces.
But with each time it shattered, i grew stronger, i knew where to find them and i found them fast. I picked up more values and skills to further improve myself. After repeated failures, i found myself a stronger person, a better person, but most importantly, a person that turned out different through the hardened experiences of failures. At least through repeated failures, i knew where each piece fitted into, i recognised the shapes and the colours on each piece to know where it is supposed to go to. I emerged more confident, even if it is to shatter again, i know for sure that i'll be able to recover my puzzle fast enough, ready to take on the next challenge.
Finally, after a year of hardwork, i'm finally left with the final piece to my puzzle. The puzzle is now worn out, tattered and faded, but nonetheless, it still turned out fine. Though not the way i thought it would be, it still turned out alright. =) Sure, it may have lost its glistening power, it may not be as colourful as it is supposed to be. But apart from all these aesthetic value add-ons, what makes the puzzle special is that it is painted in my tears, blood and sleepless nights. My struggles to fulfill my dreams have been translated into a tangible result.
As i hang my completed puzzle above the wall, i will always remember my struggles of this year, to prove my worth, my diginity, my integrity and tenacity. This puzzle is more precious than anything else in the world, for it has given me a ticket to self-discovery about who i am, what i am and what i really want in life. I'm grateful for the experiences, the struggles and the pains, for it has made me a better person, a stronger, fitter person, mentally, physically and emotionally.
Without this journey, i will never have known the feeling of failures over and over again, i will never have come into contact, a conceited, bitter and angry Alan. Without which, i will never have been able to know the true me.
*
Now that the puzzle is completed, i'm able to enjoy the benefits of my hardwork. 1 guards, best Trainee in GCC, Platoon Sergeant Course, all these will not have been possible if i had gone to OCS. By now i'll most probably just be a normal infantry officer, or maybe even a non-combatant one. Something i totally deplore. So what use does the one bar atop my shoulder have if i cannot do something useful with it? Unlike now, i'm respected, have the ability to change lives and be recognised for my efforts and vision to want to better myself among my peers. The end result may never look the way you want it to, but with perseverence, tenacity and fortitude, you will get there, somehow, someway, someday.
*
Happy New Year everyone. =)
Alan gagged and reeled at
1:48 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Oh well, the time of the year is here again, a time for us to celebrate the season of giving, sharing and love. Weirdly enough, though i do fathom that i should be in the christmassy mood now, the fact is, i don't!
I don't hear any jingle bells calling out to me subconciously, i do not wish for santa to be here, neither do i see any mistletoes hanging from my room. Its weird, since usually at around this time, i'll be busily meeting up with friends to enjoy this yuletide season, but noo...here i am, stuck alone at home, banging away at this keyboard typing this entry.
Weridly enough, i've been so caught up with work (Yes, being in the Army does constitute to working) that I'VE COMPLETELY LOST TRACK OF TIME! Sure, i can still tell the hours apart from the minutes, but the months just come and go like that *snaps finger* just like that, one month slips away, then two..then three, before i know it, a year has slipped by me without my concious awareness!
OH DEAR!
By this time last year, i'll be out partying with friends, enjoying the crowd, lights, action and the whole Yuletide atmosphere like what i did last year. But i guess, having mentioned that i've lost track of time, i have somehow been immuned towards the Christmas/New Year mode since everyday has really become much more of a routine to me. Was telling my fellow commander Sean that i guess by the time i realise its Christmas, it will already be Chinese NEw Year.
I do not deny that possibility....really. Cause i fathom that my mind and body is at least a few weeks, if not a month backdated. That being said, simply means that by the time New YEar finally arrives and i'm a month into Jan, then will i finally realise that Christmas and the New Year have come and gone.
...Snigger...
*
I promise myself last year after B3 ruined my Christmas that the Christmas i'm gonna spend this year will be an even better one, one that will not see me cross it alone, one that will not see me left wanting for presents and the usual Christmas attention people get. But i guess it seems its just not the time yet. Here i am, haha, contenting myself with Jap and Korean movies, oogling at cute Korean actresses and the likes, behaving all whiny and squimish. Hahaha. Well, look on the bright side, at least this year, i did not waste money on anybody. Hahah and i meant that in jest.......reallly....
Saw someone that caught my sttention today at Tampines Mac. She had that soft, gentile facial features, those alluring eyes, her rosy cheeks and silky hair, made me look, going for seconds one after another. Alas, being the eternally shy me, i did not dare or even attempted to try and get her number. I don't know, its weird, cause in life, you meet all sorts of people, but it is always a case of the wrong place at the wrong time when you wish that for a moment, for just a moment, that you can pluck up enough courage to seek what your heart desires. Maybe i'm just not ready for another one, maybe i'm just not sure of my own abilities and character Maybe, just maybe. Also bought a perfume for $15 from a roving sales amrketeer...i feel cheated. Damned. But it smells nice lah truthfully speaking, according the box, it is also unisex. But it smells more feminine then masculine to me, or wait, is it supposed to smell femisculine? or Mascuminine in that case? Whichever the case is, it still smells femine to me.
Oh well, bummer then.
*
Life as an instructor has been good i guess so far, on tuesday i begin a fresh new start for myself. I'll be reporting to Pasir Laba Camp at the Brand new School of Infantry Specialist to begin my Platoon Sergeant course. After the course i'll be a qualified personnel who can assume the roles and responsibilities of a Platoon Sergeant in charged of 28 men. =) Quite exciting, but having to readjust back to trainee life is quite the little turn off for me. But as always, i'll do my best in whatever i undertake. I must make the name of 1 Guards Shine! Guards! Ready To Strike!
*
Guess thats all i have to say for now, till then, Merry Christmas everyone...
Alan gagged and reeled at
8:18 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Woot, one week. ONE WEEK. Men have been in my care for one week!
It has been absolutely wonderful. They are just so adorable. So cheeky, but good in a very good way.
=) They maek staying in camp a wonderful activity. For the first time, i actually felt reluctant to book out. Because they simply, make my day. =) The new recruits, they are all just so eager, so eager to learn, so eager to look forward to whats ahead. Haha. =) Not bad not bad, at least i've managed to convice them that army will be a positive time afterall. =)
You have the usual noisy ones, the quiet ones, the irritating ones, the loner ones, the enthu ones, the beng one, but there is one thing that binds them all together. ALPHA company.. =)
Alpha! Wonderful!!!
Will blog more tmr, very tired. Ciao~!~
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
12:59 AM
1 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Haha, dunno why i clicked on "www.blogger.com" so i was directed to this page Really nothing much to blog about.
=)
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Alan gagged and reeled at
7:29 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
My superiors allowed us to book out today as the new intake recruits were having mostly lectures. Yeap, yesterday was enlistment day, the day i transited from being a trainee to that of a REAL commander. I drilled them, marched them, reprimanded them, all in the first day.
It is really hard to imagine that one year one, i will be standing on the opposite side of the file, issuing orders for the recruits to follow, instead of starring blank eyed at my Sergeant.
Being the APS (Asst. Platoon Sergeant) It is my responsibility to assume command of the platoon whilst the PS is not around, so far, the progress of the recruits have been good, they are listening to what i say and have a genuine interest to learn (most of them).
Heh, it is quite an exprience to be the biggest fish in the pond, rather than being the smallast microbe in it.
As i always tell my recruits, there is many more to come, many more to come.
=)
*
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
5:38 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Booked out of camp only to have to book in soon. It is alright if my camp is like at Dieppe, but because it is in Bedok, that is anohter hour's bus ride back.
My OC just told us today that we'll be staying in with the men for the next 3 weeks i.e: no book outs for us till then.
What a bummer.
*
A huge burden was just lifted off my chest, but somehow, i don't feel any good about it. I destroyed a friendship with the words that i said. I destroyed it with my own words! Just mere words! I'm sorry, terribly sorry.
If next time i'm gonna post such personal posts ever again. I'll be better off doing it in a private blog. At least, it is only confined to the people i trust and know, not some stranger who happens to blog-hop and read about my life, or strangers who come and not leave behind a tag to mention that they've been here.
Things are gonna change in the way i treat my blog. A re-vamp is in order. Its already too late, the damage has been done, but i will have to pick up the pieces and carry on.
I've been a buggart, oh yea, i have. I deserve to lose that friendship, but i'll treat this as a lessons...a lesson of how words can hurt, how much it can cut deep, not to the person it is intended for, but also, towards your ownself.
Because often, when the dust settles and the tension is gone, all that is left will be yourself, bearing the scars of the words you once used. either non-chalantly, unintentionally or intentionally. But, i never meant to use it intentionally. I just wanted...an avenue to let out my built-up steam.
And i found out the hard way....that..
this is not it.
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
9:13 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
WHAT A BUMMER!!!!!
Ah damn it! I just came home from camp, and i get two rude shocks of my life! Firstly! My room is in a total complete mess! They just dumped every single item in my room! Things whihc doe not even belogn to me.
Second, i cannot access friendster! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
What a stupid day it has been. I hate today. It sucked. Dammit!
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
8:12 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
Kuishinbo...
"Tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo...tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo...tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo..."
The advert may suck to the core, but the food sure is gggrrreeeaaattt! I'm serous. All these while, in the few years of Kuishinbo's exsistence, i never knew that it was actually a Gourmet buffet reataurant, alway thinking instead that it was some high class Jap restaurant that served the Paper Pot "Kaminabe" (not to be confused with the Hokkien vulgarity)as its specialty.
Introducing...Desmond and the Kaminabe....
The broth is very light and delectable...
HOW VERY WRONG I WAS!
*
I met Des yesterday after a futile attempt to get some of our other friends out. So we met at Suntec, originally wanting to go Carl's Jr to eat, or maybe Yuki no Yaki...then Des told me about Kuishinbo, how it rocks.
Truthfully, Kuishinbo is quite expensive, but just looking at the variety of food they have, makes you all the more willing to part with your money. Hahaha, i'm serious, you guys should check out that place one day. it is super good!
If this isn't enough to tempt you, i dont know what will!
The food is..Just like Heaven! Hahahahaha
No doubt, i enjoyed my food to the max, never felt so satisfied and fulfilled in a very long time. Hahaha
The best part of the entire meal, wasn't the excellent Sushi or the wonderfully fresh Sashimi, but the CHOCOLATE desserts! They were EYE-POPPING! They ACTUALLY serve Gourmet Chocolates! Those you get from Chocolatiers like Godiva or Sins etc. Not your typical Cadbury Chocolate, but Gourmet ones.!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
It is thus apparent why this place is so popular, Des and I were among the first to get in, and within the next 15 minutes, the entire place was filled up with ravaging, hungry Singaporeans who want their fair share of Sushi, Snow Crabs, Sashimi and Chawanmushis! Hahaha, it simply is a wonderful place to bring your Loved ones on a date! The ambience is good, the service is good, the food is good but most of all, for the price you pay, it is all worth it! Hahaha. woots! I will DEFINITELY come back here one of these days. The selection that they provide...just makes you want to come back for more. hahah
OMG, i sound so typically Singaporean. hahaha, but truth be told, the way to my heart is FOOD! Especially Jap food, loved it since young, and now still loving it!
*
After our splendid dinner, we went to watch Aeonflux, its not bad lah, the effects are good, but the story line is a lil ho-hum...
The entire show is really a subtle mix of Matrix / Minority Report / Paycheck / and that cloning movie that stars Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlet Johannssen (however her name is spelt). Throw all these movies in a blending machine, blend it for about 2-3 minutes and what you will get is Aeonflux I'm serious! Hahaha.
But nonetheless, it is still a cool movie with its very good parts to boot, not to mention that Charlize Theron looks fitting in her role as a highly efficient Assasin....and that black latex suit of hers...oh man, it must be hard to get into that. haha, not to mention also that she looks a tad like Trinity though. haha
I give it 3.5 / 5 stars!
*
Walking home, i saw this lamp which was really quite interesting.
Yeap, the lamp's switch is the guy's Ding Dong. Hahahaha, super cute, but it costs $149. =)
*
Enuff said
will blog again l8r.
Alan gagged and reeled at
1:21 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
I simply love this song to bits. It is absolutely wonderful...
髮如雪
Fa Ru Xue
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) Lyricist: Vincent Fong (方文山)
狼牙月
lang ya yue
伊人憔悴
yi ren qiao cui
我舉杯
wo ju bei
飲盡了風雪
yin jin le feng xue
是誰打翻前世櫃
shi shui da fan qian shi gui
惹塵埃是非
re chen ai shi fei
緣字訣
yuan zi jue
幾番輪迴
ji fan lun hui
妳鎖眉
ni suo mei
哭紅顏喚不回
ku hong yan huan bu hui
縱然青史已經成灰
zong ran qing shi yi jing cheng hui
我愛不滅
wo ai bu mie
繁華如三千東流水
fan hua ru san qian dong liu shui
我只取一瓢愛了解
wo zhi qu yi piao ai liao jie
只戀妳化身的蝶
zhi lian ni hua shen de die
妳髮如雪
ni fa ru xue
淒美了離別
qi mei le li bie
我焚香感動了誰
wo fen xiang gan dong le shui
邀明月
yao ming yue
讓回憶皎潔
rang hui yi jiao jie
愛在月光下完美
ai zai yue guang xia wan mei
妳髮如雪
ni fa ru xue
紛飛了眼淚
fen fei le yan lei
我等待蒼老了誰
wo deng dai cang lao le shui
紅塵醉
hong chen zui
微醺的歲月
wei xun de sui yue
我用無悔
wo yong wu hui
刻永世愛妳的碑
ke yong shi ai ni de bei
啦兒啦
la er la
啦兒啦
la er la
啦兒啦兒啦
la er la er la
啦兒啦
la er la
啦兒啦
la er la
啦兒啦兒啊
la er la er ah
銅鏡映無邪
tong jing ying wu xie
紮馬尾
zha ma wei
妳若撒野
ni re sa ye
今生我把酒奉陪
jin sheng wo ba jiu feng pei
*
It rocks...simply rocks..
Alan gagged and reeled at
3:39 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
"Tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo...tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo...tong tong tong 1-2-3, we are Kuishinbo..."
It is thus apparent why this place is so popular, Des and I were among the first to get in, and within the next 15 minutes, the entire place was filled up with ravaging, hungry Singaporeans who want their fair share of Sushi, Snow Crabs, Sashimi and Chawanmushis! Hahaha, it simply is a wonderful place to bring your Loved ones on a date! The ambience is good, the service is good, the food is good but most of all, for the price you pay, it is all worth it! Hahaha. woots! I will DEFINITELY come back here one of these days. The selection that they provide...just makes you want to come back for more. hahah
