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Integrity Games.
My Swergeant Major likes to indulge and make us coursees go through some guilt trip whenever we fall out or take excuse from an activity, espcially so when it is a physical one. He likes to play by integrity, making us feel absolutely guilty.
Today i was the victim of such a game. Was supposed to have SOC this morning, as my wrist hadn't recovered fully, i knew fully well that i will not be able to take the SOC test. But i still donned on my full SOC attire anyway and went to report. When i reported, the Sergeant IC gathered all the status people (7 in total), i asked if i could take the SOC and he said no. His reason being that i was on excuse, and not because of my wrist. I told him i wanted to run, or at least do the leg parts instead of those that required upper limbs. He still told me to fall out.
So he told me to go back and change into vest slack. Which i did. When i returned, my encik had already gathered the course and spoke about him being unappy about the number of people falling out (7 in total). He then went on to talk about how we supposedly sabo-ed the entire course to come back on Sat instead to run the SOC. I felt so agitated, so maligned...so...accused.
And so SOC was cancelled, supposdely because of us, the 7 sabo-kings. But i still maintain the fact that I HAD NO INTENTION TO KENG OR CHEAT. It made me feel f**king pissed off when my integrity was being questioned.
I still do Guards PT with my fellow cadres, i still run 8km, 10km, 12 km with them, i still suffer with them, i still swim 1km with them, go through all the punishments with them, does it look like i'm one who kengs? But it made it sound as if i wanted to. Yes, during Guards PT, i do not do the diamond push-ups, but i still try my best and do wide-armed or sometimes crunches when my wrist hurts too badly. But i've never taken the easy way out. Even if i have to, i make sure i still do a fair bit of suffering.
You all can question my motives or actions, but NEVER EVER question my INTEGRITY. I value that very much and i will never take the short cut when the rest of my mates are suffering.
URGH >_<*
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As usual, had Guards PT instead of SOC, one f fthe most shiong Guards PT ever, and since Encik Lorne is posting out soon, he said that he is gonna give us one last Shiong one before he posts out by the end of this week. SO counting back, i expect it to come on either Thurs or Fri. This week is gonna be very shiong, tomorrow outfield for Underslung again, day and night Ops. Then on thursday, 6km FBO fast march and followed on friday by a 1.5km swim before we book out.
Someone help me, but i will not drop out.
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Had CO interview just now, talked to him about my ambitions to be an Officer still and he did highlight two more routes that i can take, provided i sign on. One is before i ORD, by April when the working year for SAF opens, i express interest to the HQ that i want to sign on as a Guards Officer. Secondly is after I ORD and upon completion of Uni, come back and express interest to sign on, but by then, where i will be posted to will be in question sncne i may or may not be posted back to Guards. But if possible, i do hope to be able to sign on as a Guards Officer come April. But within these few months, i will review my options and see whether am i able to get used to army life or even enjoy it, cause lets face it, by signing on, i'll be giving away at least 6 years of my life to the Armed Forces. Not to mention that i will have to go through OCS with the younger cadets. Something i don't really mind actually, but this time i must reallllly think through it very vey carefully, cause i will have 3 issues to hold me back.
1) Age - whether will i be able to keep up with the trainign pace
2) Accustomisation to Unit life - whether will i be able to adapt back to that of a Trainee's life.
3) ORD mood, whetehr am i able to give up my ORD and Freedom for the SAF.
I have about 6 months to think through everythgni befor ei make the move cause as what CO said, each unit, especially Guards, have a certain quota and cap to its Officer intake, so i must act quick if i want a spot. WIll think carefully, discuss with my parents and well, for now, just take thigns easy, go through GCC and see what being a Guardsmen is all about.
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On a lighter note, just played soccer with course mates at the MPH, 2 words summed it up for me
I SUCK
Give me a Rugby ball and i will play well, give me a soccer ball? and i will fumble and kick like a wuss. I just cannot play soccer lah~ i dunno why. =( Guess my legs aren't that flexible or nimble. Bah. ence, to save myself from further football humiliation, i went to run instead. Got my body all wet and warm, felt good perspiring. =) Ran back to bunk, took a nice shower and now here i am, in Dieppe Mess blogging. They're renovating the place now, hence it is a lil vacant and smells of turpentine everywhere, the aircon isn't even working. But still, this is the only working accessible computer in the whole camp that i am entitled to, so might as well right.
Make full use of what you have!!!.
But its weird, cause i cannot access Friendster. SOmehow to the MINDEF authorities, Friendster is on par with Pornographic websites. LOL.
Dumb.
Been a long post, will kulua-Baris now.
Take care y'all.
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Oh gosh, i miss you so much....so so so so so much. Otoke chinetseyo?
=( Miss you....
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
8:58 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
