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I apologise for the incoherentness in some of the sentence. I'm typing this at 4 int he morning. Haha
I was just looking through my SISPEC trainee day photos couple with reading my entires that i've compiled over the past 2 years.
It then struck me how much different it is to be a trainee as opposed to a REAL commander and how different life was. Truly.
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The differences are not tangible nor is it physical, its more of perception and how you view things and ultimately how it affects you.
When i was in SISPEC, i felt rather protected. yes we were still admonished for our mistakes, but the thing was, though we were responsible for what we did, ultimately, the major part of the responsibility was being carried by the instructors. More often than not, the instructors would bare the blame for our lapse in traning efficiency. The instructors will be admonished behind closed doors. This we knew was happening as sometimes, when we fell in on the parade square, there will not be any instructors around. Only trainees and the appointment holders.
Only after a few minutes will the instructors come out en masse and with faces all blackened, they will speak to the platoon about what happened. Occasionally, they will have thier fuse shortened considerably to the point whereby they would punish us for the slightest reason, think PMS military style.
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Then, we had no problem with authority, we listened to every order - be it menial or dramatic. We listened and we tried to carry it out. We did not fear getting scolded for doing a bad job. We were just afraid of NOT DOING it at all.
For most of us, we all had a goal in mind, for me, it was to do well enough for a crossover to OCS. For others, it was just to get through the training. As trainees, we had to listen and could only provide suggestions - not solutions.
In a way, we were confined to a strict and controlled way of thinking. But nonetheless, we were okay with it. Thinking back, we were somewhat in a state of "restricted expression". Its like, you can express yourself and stand up for your views, but ultimately, we still had to listen to tthe higher intent.
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When i POP-ed from SISPEC, i promised myself that i would be a good commander and i will lead by example. For instance, when i was a trainee, Route marches were a matter of personal endurance. You did not want to fall out because you had personal pride. It was all about keeping the integrity of the platoon and most importantly, about keeping our own goals intact. However, when i became a commander. I not only had this to worry about. I had the morale and the spirit of the men to look into. It was no longer about ME, it was about THEM too. To them, we are exactly how i looked upon my instructors, fit, been-there-done-that....we looked upon them for motivation and inspiration. Likewise in unit, during the long arduous route marches, i had to bear that role.
Not only did i have to uphold my image, i had to uphold the men's motivation as well as most of the men in unit have nothing to look forward to except book out. They do not have the Silver bayonet or Best Trainee. They just have themselves and thier buddies. Mentally, they were only as strong as what they allowed themselves to be. They had no extrinsic mode of motivation. That was where we came in. Being human and being tired, we could not show it. We had to be strong and positive so that the men will find some value in walking and not be so down-troddened.
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Training was also different In SISPEC, when we did a drill or an attack, we always had the option of "screw up first, get f-ed later then semulah". Many op us hated the semulah word. It meant that we had to shout "charge!!" repeatedly over and over again. However, if we weren't confident, we could always ask the instructors, during the fight, they would always be there to guide us and keep a lookout for us.
But in unit, it is different. The men instead, look upon us to GUIDE and LEAD them. There was never an option of Semulahing unless the men cocked up. But there hardly was any space for error on our part. To upkeep our image and show that we ARE trained. We had to ensure we knew our drills correctly. There wasn't anybody we can look towards when we felt unsure. We just had to bite the bullet and hope for the best. It was always like this. The men view us the way we viewed our instructors.
The moment they (instructors) screwed up, we would lose morale. Just like in unit. The way the men looked upon us.
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In a way, its rather weird having to think i was once a trainee getting shouted at, getting pumped. But it is through all these that i know how to control and instruct my men to draw out the best from them. It is through all these that i'm able to understand and discover my own style of working. It is though all these that prepared me for my role as a commander and as a leader of 6 men on the battlefield.
Yes, i may not be an officer. But let me tell you this. Sergeants can often operate without Officers, because WE control the men and we can lead them. But officers cannot work without us as effectively as opposed to with us. Because for one man to control 23, it will be too much of a task. The officers (most) will lead by rank, the men listen because thier rank dictates they must. Just like how i must listen to my PC or my OC. I may not necessarily like what they say or how they do things, but ulitmately i must listen because my rank dictates that i should. However, i owuld like to believe that for the Sect Cmdr - Men relationship. It is more personal. On the battlefield especially, the men will always wait for the Sect Cmdr's voice before they charge. In a fight, they will always look out for the section commander. For a very simple reason. They look to us to be directed. They need the section cmdr to provide them the task to do. Overtime, a close bond is forged between the Sergeant and the section. It is that trust and that connection. Sometimes it gets to a point whereby the men instinctively know what to do even before the Sergeant says anything. It is that closeness that is forged. It was one of the joys of being a Sect Cmdr. That though we may not be highly ranked, we still had a direct impact on the way a soldier did things or were taught. It gave me that satisfaction.
So for those going to SISPEC or are Sergeants. NEVER EVER look down on our stripes. We may not have the perks an officer get, or we may never get the prestige and status, but one thing is for sure. Things will never get done without us.
To all officers, the least you can do (though its kinda late for me to say this) is to respect that fact that the Sergeants came from a training institute for leaders just like you. In spite of a lower pay and lesser perks that you all get, we still do our job and undergo intensive training - just like you do. And never forget this, the NSF officer, even during their OCT days, earns more than what a NSF 2SG earns.
Yet at the end of the day, we chiong with the men still, go through the same shit still and fight the same still. Do not treat us like dirt. haha. The stripe is powerful in its own ways. Afterall, in my humble opinion, what drives a Specialist is not his rank and the perks he gets along with it. What ultimately drives him is his passion for the men and the pride in his work. Though we are often considered as second class leaders, we still lead by example as far as we can and we still uphold the image of Leadership in the NSF. For us, respect has to be earned (due to our closeness with the men and the direct effect our actions have on them), it is not given to us by our rank. =)
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Specs are afterall, the Backbone of the SAF. We support the SAF from the back. Without us, nothing will be done, even with superb planning, you will still require the specs to execute it.
=D
With PRIDE we LEAD.
Labels: General
Alan gagged and reeled at
3:45 AM
8 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
