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So finally, on the 7th of Nov 2006, i henceforth cease to be a NSF but a NS-man. I've completed my full time liability to the army. Not to say that i'm entirely thrilled about ORD-ing. I know many will be shocked as to WHY ARE YOU NOT HAPPY?
I am, i am happy now that i have more time to myself, my family and my dear. But, having to ORD means having to abandon a life i've gotten so used to in the past 22 months. Its like having to leave a family that you've grown to love. Especially more so in 1 Guards, i've gotten so used to the life, the people in it, the men, the commanders that it is really hard to leacve, though inevitable. We know eachother and we all live together, its an experience that is hard to find elsewhere.
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As i was walking out of the Bedok camp complex with my pink ic and my 11B in hand, somehow or another the timing was so perfect that the moment i stepped out of the guardroom, the daily flag-lowering music starts playing. Its a bugle call that has a very solemn tune to it. It is played everyday without fail at 1800 hrs when the flag is lowered on the Parade square. Every camp in the SAF adheres to this routine. So yes, you can say that the SAF literally halts to a stop at 1800 everyday.
As i was saying, as i was walking, the bugle call started playing, it was somehow very symbolic for me as the first bugle call i heard in the SAF was the flag lowering one back in BMT. So walking out of camp with the bugle call calling out somehow reflects me coming full circle, and just like the flag, it has to end. It will come down. It signalled the end of the most memorable 2 years of my life.
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2 Years in which i've fought hard, played hard, cried hard and laughed hard. I put in my best for every task, however meaningless or menial it was. I did not see NS as a waste of time, as i knew that NS was something i had always looked forward to and it was reflected in the way i did things.
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Many of my peers just could not wait to get their pink ic. For me, i deliebrately took my time. I just did not want it to end on such a low note. Many often tell me that NS is a waste of time. My response? Of course i will listen and advice, but to me, it will only be a waste of time if you choose it to be. It is not by choice that we have to serve, it is a duty, an HONOR to be able to serve our nation. Though we may not see its tangible rewards, but through NS, how many of us cannot deny that it made us realise something about ourselves that we never knew? or thought we could ever do? I'm not paying lip servcie to the SAF. Being in the army has taught many things.
About politics, about cause and effect, about tenacity, leadership, goals, visions, pushing my limits and ultimately breaking them. It was never a waste of time. Not for me at least. I relished every moment cause every task given to me was a challenge.
Like the War cry during Guards Day. It was a challenge that i undertook. I started out with not a single idea in mind, i had to come up with a war cry routine, i had to amass my strength, i had to coordinate my war cry team, i had to motivate them ad spur them on eventhough i needed it myself too. In the end? I emerged Champion during the 1 Guards Games day. And when i was asked to represent 1 Guards during Guards day, pitting myself against 3 Guards, ADF and other units, it was an even bigger challenge. But i never once felt like giving up, cause i know it was for the glory of my battalion. I revamped my guys, re-did the whole routine, came up with new ideas, costumes etc and we won, thumping the other battalions. The best part? We got the ENTIRE 1 Guards to recite the Guards creed with me and join us in the war cry. It was absolutely wonderful being able to win the support of my fellow comrades. I even won the approval of my CO and my RSM. Who personally came up to me and shook my hands.
So you see, we need not recieve any tangible rewards, any plaques or "Best Trainee" things to make us feel that our time in the SAF was worthwhile, it is the culmination of little things that will ultimately define out NS experiencw. I was never Best Recruit in BMT (though i know i was #2), i did not get my silver bayonet. HOWEVER, at the end of my 2 yrs in NS i have achieved much more than those who garnered awards along the way.
In BSLC, i was Best Trainee, in GCC i was the Best Specialist, I went for PS course, i went for CSM course and graduated top 5 trainee. In 1 guards i received a Best Commander award.
I did not get my Silver Bayonet but it did not deter me from doing my best in everything i did or undertook. I always finished what i started and never once wanted to throw in my towel.
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I have always been asked, both specialists and officers alike why is it that i'm not an Officer. I ponder that question many times myself too. But i guess for everything that happens, there must be a reason. To gain the recognition from them is a reqard in itself. Though i do wish that i had gone to OCS having fought so hard for 8 months. The fact that i didn't gave me the opportunities to go Guards and attend the PS and CSM courses as a Guardsman. I was recognised as a spec who did his job well not just by my CSM but by my RSM as well. Its a gratifying feeling that i contribute to the image of the Spec Corps.
I'm not blowing my trumpet but this is what i feel. That it is an HONOR for me to represent and contribute to the Spec corps. Life might be different if i'm an officer. I will miss out on the feeling of leaving 6 men behind, people whom you've single handedly groomed from recruits to fighting soldiers. Its a feeling that officers will never be able to understand as the specs are usually very close to thier men and they do not really like it when the officer steps across the line and tries to get close to the men too. I don't really like it when my pc does that anyway. I'm not being selfish but by doing so, it really makes it hard for the spec to do his job as it might open the door for comparison. So sometimes as a spec it makes me understand how officers should conduct themselves. Perhaps next tiem when i decide to sign on as an Officer, such experieces will put me in good stead because i will view things from a bottom-up and not a top-down perspective.
=)
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What lies ahead is still unknown, i most probably will not be called up so early as my men have another year to go. I hope that by the time they ORD and they go into reserve i have the opportunity to go back to Rawdy and be their CSM. AT least if only for a week every year, we get to relive what it was like to be part fo a family that lived, suffered, ate and slept together as one body as one company and as one brotherhood.
I will miss everything that the Army has given me, the opportunities, the experiences the sorrows, the hardships but above all, the satisfaction of being able to do things and be recognised for it. =)
My time in NS was definitely a fun, fulfilling, memorable and a positive experience. =)
No doubt about it.
2SG (NS) Alan Phua, over and out.
=D
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
1:23 PM
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..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
