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I'm back! From another week of training in SISPEC!
Hahahaha
Super shagged week i must add. Mentally tiring.
And so.....the list of candidates for OCS crossover is out.
And guess what!? i'm not in it!
Hahaha! WHY? Because i didn't get IPPT Gold.
its a screwed up system.
All the IPPT Gold people are in by default. Its a directive stated by OCS.
They ONLY want IPPT Gold people.
BAH.
According to my PWO, (had a talk with him about the list)
he added my name to the list, but the PC had no
choice but to remove it because i only got Silver for IPPT.
But then again, i'm not too bothered by not being able to make it this time again.
Cause i know, that the ONLY reason why i'm not going over
is because OCS has a very narrowed minded approach to SISPEC crossovers.
(And not because of my abilities as a Trainee or future Commander)
This in itself makes me lose faith in the SAF system, especially so that of OCS's.
(DOUBLE STANDARDS! Some Cadets cannot even pass their SOC! Let alone IPPT!)
But one thing is for sure, that from what my PWO says, i'm one of the Platoon top 3.
First one being a regular from ADF, followed by Valliappan, also from CJ.
He will most probably crossover as his fitness is really good.
Followed by me.
*
So even if i do not make it to OCS, hey, at least
i know i'm better than any of the cadets
anytime. =)
All i'm aiming for now is at least the Silver Bayonet and perhaps a chance to
go ASTW to be a platoon Sergeant.
=)
*
Hmm, this week did lots of running, 11km on tuesday morning in Tekong,
then followed by outfield till night.
Wednesday outfield...
Thursday 13km in the morning, followed by outfield again till night....
Friday, outfield again...
Then today, before book out, 15km run!
Super shagged man.
*
But i book out a fitter, stronger person.
Next week i've been selected (more liek Arrowed) to be the Company LSM, or
Leader Sergeant Major, a.k.a Company IC,
and because we're gonna have out SISPEC ASLC signature, 22km
run, the
Chief of Army, MG Desmond Quek
will be heading down to SISPEC to join us for the run.
And being the LSM for next week, places great amounts of pressure on me to
perform, especially so on tuesday, when the COA arrives.
(the thign about Bravo is that to be LSM, you must first be an LPS, but i did
not even do any LPS term before! So its a clear indication of my abilities? Haha.
)
*
Received my 3Sgt. Chevrons today, feels kinda good
to know that i earned this rank with my blood, sweat and tears.
haha, gotta sew it on tomorrow, prepare for
POP after ROC.
*
As what my PWO said, i do not have to go OCS to be someone good, someone who can excel.
Going OCS does not make one an excellent soldier, it is JUST another training School.
I can still excel as a Specialist, and if i'm good enough in my unit, i can still be reccomended
to go OCS.
But then again, by then i will most probably be
more suited as a Spec.
*
Looking back at my previous postings of how i ranted and complained,
i think i have grown past that.
Something good has emerged from something
that i thought of as being against me all these while.
If not for this whole "I want to go OCS" thing that i've been battling
for the past 6 months, i will not have grown stronger mentally.
*
I've learned to trust my own capabilities, know my own limits AND break them.
But most importantly, i've matured as a person. Someone who now realises that
even in the darkest of days and the most greyest of skies that looms over me,
there will always be a sheltered road to walk on, to bring me somewhere else
better.
Though my heart still aches sometimes when i look at the 2Lt. shoulder board
i put in my cupboard.
I know for sure that, even if i do not get to wear that rank one day,
the fact that i've come this far, not by wayanging, but by sheer grit and determination,
i have accomplished what many who wear that rank have not been able to.
Sure, go ahead blast me if you will, for being "sour grapes" but let me tell you now,
i'm not being jealous.
*
Tell me honestly, especially NSF officers, do you really deep down think that some of
your comrades who wear that one bar atop thier uniform
deserve it so?
I think at some point in time during your OCT term and perhaps even now when you're
in your own respective units, you did wonder why some people
were selected.
Am i not right to say so?
*
As such, come POP day, i will Proudly say out the Specialists' creed,
with Chevrons placed most spectacularly on my smartest #4.
I will look upon my 3 stripes not just as a distingushing mark of me being a Specialist,
but as a mark of my maturity, my growth from a discontented soldier,
to one who appreciates himself for what he has accomplished for himself.
With my beret thrown high up into the sky, it will signal the end of my struggle
within myself to striev for OCS.
But what lies ahead is what i'm going to set my mind to.
I want to be a good commander, not the best, but a good commander for my men
under me.
My mission?
To excel as a specialist and bring name and Prestige to SISPEC.
*
With Pride I will Lead.
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
6:00 PM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
