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The fear, it consumes me.
The mind, it controls me.
I want to be free, i want to feel free.
I desire to just be a normal trainee.
Desire to be the Recruit i was in BMT.
Light-hearted, happy, engaging.
Now all i see is grey, all i see is darkness.
Obsession had taken over me.
I'm obsessed about achieving my goals and dreams.
Yet, i always aim high and shoot low.
*
Good peer appriasal, good results, good assessment by Sergeants,
all washed down the drain because i cannot run fast enough.
i cannot hold my pjhysical well enough
Wasn't selected to cross-over during BMT though i was
Platoon best.
Denied once again during BSLC because of fitness.
Now ASLC< fitness comes into play again
how i wish i can just run with free abandon.
Spread my arms and run without having to worry when will my legs begin to give way.
Or wonder why it suddenly became so heavy.
*
It is undeniably disheartening when u realise that the SAF
is so superficial in its apporach at times.
They value fitness over skills and abilities at times.
How absurd is that?
*
In the battlefield, which is more important, being able to lead your men effectively,
or being able to run fast enough?
and for what? To dodge bullets?
To run away?
*
At the end of the day, it all boils down to a very superficial assessment system.
Just because we're NSFs does not mean that we are not commited to serve a cause
It just means that we're not regulars.
Thats all.
*
On a hppier note, today is Father's day and i'm gonna get my daddy a
BIG BIG cake and pay his phone bills.
*
Met Reynn for a movie just now.
Watched Ghost train at 2100 Hrs at Cine.
It was sorely disappointing.
i waited with anticipation for this movie, but it was literally
a train crash in my opinion.
Good plot, but very very suspect and boring execution.
It tried to pull off an unexpected twist at the end.
Tried to make the entire story seem complicated and intelligent.
But it crashed rather spectacularly, i must add.
Instead of leaving you feeling satisfied,
it left me instead, feeling disgusted at the unimaginative,
old reharshed scare tactics, weak plots, poor acting,
suspect effects and worst of all, corny scenes peppered throughout
the movie.
Some lines in the movie just made my hair stand on ends with its through
corniness.
One such example
"Life is like a train ride, the last destination is Death. *accompanied by frenzied laughter*"
(-_-)"
right.........
*
After our horrifyingly boring movie, Reynn and myself went down to Swensen's to have dinner
and chatted for the longest time about everything.
Biach-ing about people, listening to Ipod and just commenting on the weather
After that decided to watch another movie since we missed the last train home anyway.
Watched "Alot like Love" at 0300Hrs
According to Reynn, it was a very nice movie.
I will not contest to that as i was sleeping for almost 3/4 of the movie.
Haha. Intend to watch again.
Prior to the movie, during the trailers, one Jap movie,
"Be With you" caught my attention, its a very melancholic
movie, very touching...i want to watch!
My list of must-watchs
1. Be With You
2. Batman Begins
3. Alot like Love (cause i feel asleep during the show dammit)
4. Herbie?
thats about it i guess.
yeap.
*
Next week moving to Amoy Quee camp for 3 weeks. Mainland. =)
yay.
Not so bad.
*
Yeap, thats about it.
I need sleep.
*
miss you all badly. Miss my friends, miss CJ
Miss her, Miss everyone lah!
Labels: NS
Alan gagged and reeled at
8:20 AM
0 people shizzled my nizzle
..:: Semper Paratus, Sine Mora ::..
