l
.:Sunday, February 13, 2005:.

Today is the last day of holiday before i book

in for another week of physical torture. Sigh,

lots of ups and downs happened to me for the past few days, confusion

and utter amalgation of happiness and sadness has defined this week.

*

How can i look into your eyes and not say that i like you,

how am i to walk beside you without wanting to hold you back

and telling you what i feel,

how am i to advise you on the phone, without having to force myself to

say things which i should not?

How am i to continue telling you to be strong when i myself, am weak?

How am i to stop thinking of you?

Thursday was the happiest day of my week, yet Friday became the most saddening,

How am i to stop all these confusion within myself?

Maybe i should just shut myself out from the outside world once again,

and be a hermit, cooped up in my own world of solitude.

Maybe i shouldn't have switched on my phone,

maybe i shouldn't have continued messaging you,

maybe i should have not even liked you in the first place

Maybe, just maybe i should just let you go,

once again....for i do not deserve the priviledge of ever

having you again.

*
















Shucks


















*

Spent the whole day with family today,after own morning businesses,

went down to NUSS Kent Ridge guild house for Breakfast+Lunch.

Played foosball and pool with brother there.

Then l8r went to Suntec City to touch the foutain of wealth.

*

All the while thinking of distracting thoughts, thoughts of the heart,

thoughts only i can fully comprehend, yet am thoroughly confused about.

Perhaps it was all a mistake, a misconstrued chain of emotional signals,

i should not even be entertaining such thoughts, i have my

career to think of.

I cannot afford to lose focus now that the crux of BMT is approaching.

*

I simply cannot.....


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Alan gagged and reeled at 1:04 AM
 
0 people shizzled my nizzle

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